Saturday, July 31, 2004
[[you've changed - 31.07.04]]
Hmm.. Finally first RA movie watched in the theatre since i turned 21 yesterday.. lolx.. After the show, we dined at Jack's Place.. Such a romantic atmosphere BUT was with the wrong partner.. lolx.. Went to heeren.. In the meantym.. browse around for kimberly locke's cd.. heard this song..
You know, something's happened
It ain't the same
Started out as friends, no doubt we'd be to the very end
One thing lead to another
Then we fell in love with each other
Oh how beautiful things were between us back then
It was so sweet,
Use to send roses to my job in the middle of the week
One thing lead to another
Now we hardly speak to each other
It's so strange, soooo strange
You've changed.
I miss the conversations,
Miss the stimulations,
Miss communicating.
You've changed.
Miss the lovey-dovey,
Feeling way you hugged me,
Knowing you still love me
So don't change. Don't change, noooo
Use to make love for hours,
Turn right around and take long hot showers
But now we just go through the motions
What's love if there's no emotion
Just ain't the same, ain't the same
The beautiful thing that we had
Use to be good, now it hurts me so bad
Now when I look in your eyes,
All I see is emptiness inside
You can't disguise, can't deny
You've changed.
I miss the conversations,
Miss the stimulations,
Miss communicating.
You've changed.
Miss the lovey-dovey,
Feeling way you hugged me,
Knowing you still love me
So don't change. Don't change, noooo
You've changed
Used to go everywhere
Where the was one there was always the other
Now you're out all night,
Act like we ain't even together
Use to call every hour on the hour,
Didn't need no excuse
If you want to get it right, keep it tight,
Make it alright,
Baby, please don't change
Miss the conversations,
Miss the stimulations,
Miss communicating.
You've changed.
Miss the lovey-dovey,
You've changed.
I miss the conversations,
Miss the conversations,
Miss the stimulations,
Miss communicating.
You've changed.
Miss the lovey-dovey,
Feeling way you hugged me,
Knowing you still love me
So don't change. Don't change, noooo
[bottomline:]stay d same..
emotionally charged.-evewbb 9:56 PM
Thursday, July 29, 2004
[[one & only 21st - 30.07.04]]
Hmm.. Being somewat of a 'last-minuter'.. Well.. my first important event is planned less than 1 month in advance..
The location: booked 2 weeks in advance
My leave application: approved 1 week in advance
The birthday cake: ordered 1 week in advance
The food: allocated 1 week in advance
The misc: Prepared 2 days in advance
The guests: notified 1 day in advance
Itz abit exagerrated.. but.. that's the way i am.. incase i experience any stm.. Guest lists all prepared.. Important people in my life have been invited.. If only.. -siGh-
Drove to AMK NTUC to get the remaining alcohol and drinks.. Was drenched by the sudden downpour.. Should not care too much about my budget anymore.. coz i have over-exceeded.. There's still a little dream to fulfil.. If only..
"I don't want to tell u b4 ur bdae.. bt since.." I jolted out from my sleep.. It was a dream.. They say dreams are the opposite of reality.. Dreams mirror one's life.. In dreams.. Everything becomes so 'illusionised'.. If only..
[bottomline:]My 'ONE & ONLY 21ST'.. If only..
emotionally charged.-evewbb 9:35 PM
Sunday, July 25, 2004
[[be part of my life.. - 25.07.04]]
Happy 2nd Month..
Hurdles we have crossed and stumbled upon..
Very much as you would have heard before..
Which i will like to repeat.. umpteen times..
I want you to be part of the moment..
I want you to be part of my life..
Pardon me.. But..
I miss u..
I love u..
[bottomline:] now i really know what a relationship is all about..
emotionally charged.-evewbb 9:55 PM
Thursday, July 22, 2004
[[my dae.. - 22.07.04]]
It was drizzling in the morning.. decided to walk thru it..
Reached the office.. Settled down and started work..
Emailed daisy, shion and chris.. only daisy reverted..
shion and chris came in the early noon shift..
Had lunch with cherrie.. Consulted her on some probs..
The only thing she advised: "Put yourself in her shoes and think.."
Emailed qy and asked if she was from TP..
Her reply was affirmative.. She looks familiar..
Recved an email from candy.. Asked me wat i wanted for bdae..
My reply.. "I dunno.."
Finally.. recved noticed tt my leave for nx friday is approved..
Perhaps.. my rostered leave for august shld be approved too..
dear.. i ask you things tt happen in your life/day is coz i care.. and i will not want to be the last to find out anythin untoward happening to u.. juz like when i tell u wats happening.. i respect u.. i want u to be part of my life.. i know nowadays u haf been very bz with ur sch.. i try my best to give u breathing space.. There may be no meetings.. no phonecalls.. decreased in sms.. bt a sms from u will definitely lights up my day.. Perhaps.. juz perhaps.. when u r less bz.. slow down.. tk a look at the surroundings/people beside u.. they are still waiting for u despite of wat is happening..
loving u de cynot
emotionally charged.-evewbb 9:20 PM
[[time will tell.. - 22.07.04]]
why make promises when u intend to break it?
why make promises when u know itz nt going to be fulfilled?
is it bcoz promises give assurance?
is it bcoz promises make u see the 'future'?
i once promised tt i will miss u..
i once promised tt i will cherish u..
i once promised tt i will love u..
i once promised tt i will nva break ur heart..
u once promised tt we will be together forever..
u once promised to love me forever..
when one becomes realistic.. you will realised tt there's nothing such as promises and forever.. i live the day as it comes by.. and when u came into my life.. and walked out of it.. i am still living.. till i met her.. i stopped living.. for myself.. i lived for us.. and no more promises i shall make.. forever..
[bottomline:]one can't change the past.. but will ruin a perfectly fine present by worrying too much abt the future..
emotionally charged.-evewbb 6:54 PM
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
[[finally.. - 20.07.04]]
longest day of my life i spent infront of a computer..
finally.. upgraded my blog.. longest day of my life i was trying to figure out CSS codings..
finally.. i understood what i studied for the past 3 years..
longest day of my time tt i did not look at my mp..
finally.. my dear msg me..
longest day of my time that i was trying not to think..
finally.. i succeeded..
longest day of my time i tried not to disturb my dear..
finally.. i curbed the urge to call my dear..
longest day of my life i was trying to be serious at everything..
finally.. everything became so blur..
finally.. i understood it was trust tt i did not have for her..
finally.. i understood tt i was me all along..
finally.. i understood why she was ever so upset with my attitude..
finally.. i can tell you.. "i'm sorry..." right from my heart..
finally.. you give the relationship another chance..
finally.. we will try to work things out..
finally.. i just realised tt i have been loving you all along..
[bottomline:]finally.. itz all about trust and faith..
emotionally charged.-evewbb 10:05 PM
Sunday, July 18, 2004
[[itz abt us - 17.07.04]]
We had our drinks at baker's inn at fullerton.
We sat down outside..
The sound of the waves.. it made me calmer..
I spoke..
I told my my dear how i felt..
I told her what i was thinking..
I wanted to know what she was thinking..
PERHAPS
I did not give her any opportunity to speak..
I did not give her any chance to think..
She just feel that this is ::HER::..
Dear..
I always respect whatever you do.. whatever you think coz itz juz u.. that makes urself so unique.. so outstanding in a crowd.. I always believe in US.. The faith that is present.. The trust.. The communication.. Everything about this relationship that makes it so special.. so unique coz itz juz u and me = WE..
I do not xpect anything in return from you other than your love.. your feelings.. you might not treat me the way I treat you.. It may be different in feelings.. But love is not about giving and receiving.. itz about appreciating..
Dear.. I appreciate you just like i love you.. Hope you understand..
Rgds/Eve
[bottomline:] itz still abt US..
emotionally charged.-evewbb 12:08 AM
Thursday, July 15, 2004
[[dunch.. - 15.07.04]]
Someone once asked..
"In a relationship..
One does not need to work hard..
If only one party is compromising..
If only one party is struggling to make IT work..
Will there still be happiness..?"
Sometimes, it just hits upon me that some questions are not meant to be asked.. and some questions are not meant to be answered..
The question above..? I never managed to answer..
All i wanted to tell my dear is..
One does not plan to fail..
One fail to plan..
One should not think too much..
One should solutionized..
One should not hear..
One should listen..
One should not say..
One should speak..
One day.. I shall look into your eyes and tell you.. 'i love you'..
[bottomline:]i love my dear..
emotionally charged.-evewbb 9:00 PM
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
[[every first.. - 13.07.04]]
Every FIRST in one's life.. is always a memory to keep..
My FIRST with my dear..
First Met (Virtual): 15.05.04 - on fridae
First SMS: 19.05.04
First Call: 23.05.04
First Met (Real-Life): 23.05.04 - my dear's void-deck
First Movie: 29.05.04 - The Day After Tomorrow
First Held Hands: 29.05.04 - PS movie theatre
First Gift From Me To Her: 02.06.04 - Identical Boy-Ger HP accessories
First Gift From Her To Me: 05.06.04 - Metal Heart with chocolates
First Hug: 07.06.04 - my dear's void-deck
First Kiss: 11.06.04 - my house.. lolx
First Month: 25.06.04
First Anniversary Gift From Me To Her: 26.06.04 - Swatch Ring
First Anniversary Gift From Her To Me: 26.06.04 - 98 bus tix hearts + 1 heart letter
[bottomline:]it seems to be a memory at first.. noted tt i had omitted all unhappy entries..
emotionally charged.-evewbb 8:36 PM
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
[[wat a question? wat an answer? - 07.07.04]]
These few days.. We have been holding phone conversations for more than 4 hours per day. A day without hearing from ::HER::.. seems wierd.. and missing ::HER:: still.. Questions were of coz brought up and answers I have pondered upon..
Q: Do i like or do i love ::HER::?
A: ::SHE:: says itz too soon for love.. ttz ::HER:: own perception.. coz i have fallen for her to a stage called LOVE
Q: Why do i like/love ::HER::?
A: No answer at the moment.. If you could find a reason to love a person.. you will find a million reasons to hate the same person..
Q: Will i be disappointed if i lose ::HER::?
A: YES! Simply coz i love her.. Even if love is too early.. for ::HER::
Guess itz quite dumb but who cares.. as long as i love her.. Hw about you.. my dear?
[bottomline:]never question an answer with another question..
emotionally charged.-evewbb 7:14 PM
Sunday, July 04, 2004
[[watz missin - 03.07.04]]
Two people who share almost the same fate..
Simply interesting..
Simply have many inner thts..
We went to 'Fullerton' in search of 'Gloria Jean'..
Ended up at 'Baker's Inn'..
'GJ' had closed down apparently..
So much atmosphere.. So many ppl..
We had dbl latte, iced peach tea and choux cheese..
::SHE:: was in town too..
I did the least if not the best..
Sent ::HER:: home..
NO words uttered tt nite..
Wondered if we had run out of things to say..
Perhaps itz juz tt nite..
Missin u.. is like..
'Comin up to the surface for a breather..'
[bottomline:]watz missin..? The conversation..
emotionally charged.-evewbb 11:52 AM
Friday, July 02, 2004
[[itz ::HER:: - 02.07.04]]
The answer i was lookin for..
The feelin i was searchin for..
I realised i was a fool..
The answer has been with me all along..
The feelin was there.. It never went away..
It was me who misunderstood..
It was me who misinterpret..
It was me who cant feel..
It was infact me who left..
Just as I thought it was over..
I turned back.. to realised..
The answer was ::her::..
The feelin was ::her::..
Forever loving ADEL de OT..
[bottomline:]u r juz u.. no1 can replace..
emotionally charged.-evewbb 8:58 AM
Thursday, July 01, 2004
[[dreams - 01.07.04]]
"Hey.. Where are you?" (I asked as i got onto the bus)
"I did not board the bus.." (this was ::HER:: reply)
"Huh.. Why not..?" (I enquired again)
"Coz I didn't got onto the bus and I'm heading home" (::HER:: reply)
===wats happening===
"Why can't you look at my face..?" (::SHE:: asked)
"Does looking or not looking matters..?" (I replied)
"Den.. Does loving or not loving matters..?" (::HER:: reply)
[bottomline:]i was shocked.. but what can i do when itz only a dream..
emotionally charged.-evewbb 8:58 AM
