Monday, October 18, 2004
[[confused.. - 17.10.04]]
Hmm.. Everyone has a fear.. More than often.. Its the fear of "what ifs".. I, myself.. Fear of an answer to a question I have not ask.. An answer to the question I desperately tried so hard to seek..
Hmm.. No matter how hard I try.. Itz difficult.. I din say it was easy in the first place.. Hmm.. I am contradicting myself here.. What am I thinking? I simply have no idea.. I am very confused.. I have mixed feelings.. Was it the anticipation of THAT answer..? I tried not to think..
Words written down.. Not spoken face-to-face.. Was it the fear of the rejection that i would otherwise experience..? Was it written words bring more emotions..? I dare not think.. It brings me to another level of confusion.. The more I think.. The more I seek.. I deeper I fall.. That is in love with her..
Sometimes.. When my actions couldnt justify my words.. I remained silent.. I stopped.. I couldnt decipher myself any further.. The more I try to understand what I was doing.. The more I find that my life is like a shadow.. It follows..
As much as I wish to be with you.. As much as I will give up everything to be with you.. As much as I seek for an answer.. The question will not be raised.. For what reasons.. I shall not say.. Now is not the time.. Time seeks man.. Man seeks love.. Love.. juz waits.. I am waiting.. waiting for someone.. an acquaintance.. - moz probably..
[bottomline:]i cld nt comprehend my thinking.. my actions..
emotionally charged.-evewbb 1:30 AM
