Thursday, February 24, 2005
[[fate vs destiny - 24.02.05]]
Fate: (noun)
The supposed force, principle or power that predetermines events.
The inevitable events predestined by this force.
A final result or consequence; an outcome.
Unfavourable destiny; doom
Destiny: (noun/plural)
The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is destined; one's lot.
A predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control.
The power or agency thought to predetermine events.
I once read.
In love, its fate that brings u together.
Perhaps destiny which brings u apart.
It wrote.
In love, there isn't a right or a wrong.
Its just that some people met at the wrong time.
With fate. U met.
With destiny. U part.
I was once told.
I believe in fate.
Therefore fate decide my destiny.
I once said.
Fate lies in your own hands.
Let not fate decide your life.
Lets change destiny.
For now.
Fate? Does it exist?
Destiny? What do you think?
A commonly heard.
If we are meant to be.
We will be together in the end.
Where is the end?
One might question.
The other..?
The answer is just obvious.
There was never an end to begin with.
When you mean 'THE END'.
Perhaps that's the finale.
No more sequels.
That I hope.
I realised.
Hope brings hurt.
Hurt brings anguish.
Full of lies and deceit.
Who I chose to believe.
What I chose to believe.
Who I chose to lead me.
Was that you in my dream?
Did I wake up?
Have I woke up?
I do question.
But I realised.
I have no answer.
They said.
Ignorance is bliss.
Knowing too much.
1 word: HURT.
I replied.
Rather than living in delusion.
I seeked a world of my own.
I chose to take a stab.
Right in my heart.
That is when it all ended.
That is when i called u a friend.
//thts of a being.
emotionally charged.-evewbb 5:34 PM
Monday, February 21, 2005
[[separate lives - 21.02.05]]
Time: 2333hrs
Location: infront of my pc
Mood: casual
Song playing: the below song.. dunno title..
Hmm.. I finally found..
I always feel so emotional charged..
Whenever this song plays..
But I never got to know who was the singer..
And the title of the song..?
I dun even know..
Well.. Its something I like..
Something which at certain point so much depicts my feelins..
No one can understand..
Not even myself..
Questions I cant even answer myself..
Was tt to show tt i m in doubt?
Perhaps not..
Just tt I have learnt..
There isnt an answer..
To every question..
Just like..
There isnt a lock..
To every key..
There isnt a you..
To every me..
You called me from the room in your hotel
All full of romance for someone that you'd met
And telling me how sorry you were
Leaving so soon
And that you'll miss me sometimes
When you're alone
Do I feel lonely too?
You have no right to ask me how I feel
You have no right to speak to me so kind
We can't go on, holding on to time
Now we're living separate lives
Well I have learned to let you go
And if you lost your love for me
You never let it show
There was no way to compromise
So now we're living
Now we're living separate lives
Ooh, it's so difficult
Love leads to isolation
So you build that wall
You build that wall
Yes you build that wall
Oh yes, you build that wall
And you make it stronger
You have no right to ask me how I feel
You have no right to speak to me so kind
Some day I might
I just might find myself looking in your eyes
But for now,We'll go on living separate lives
Yes for now,We'll go on living separate lives
Separate lives...
Separate lives...
emotionally charged.-evewbb 11:29 PM
Saturday, February 19, 2005
[[love book - 19.01.05]]
Time: 2311hrs
Location: infront of my PC
Mood: blank
Song playing: love book
Eternity: Time without beginning or end; infinite time
Forever: For everlasting time; eternally
Is there really eternity.. really forever?
I seeked no answer..
Eternity and forever seems like..
Holding on to a handful of sand..
Some might just slip thru the gaps inbtw the fingers..
Eternity and forever is a hope..
Somehow it is a promise..
A promise made.. held on by both..
A candle light up.. a hope given..
Life.. It seems.. like a candle..
At times.. The wind might extinguish the flame..
At times.. Someone might come along and relight the candle..
A candle without flame..
A life without hope?
A promise held by one?
Once spoken.. Once told..
"A blog is for me to vent my frustrations..
Now.. I no longer have anything to write..
Nothing to vent..
I will delete my blog.."
Hmm.. In my own definition..
A blog is for myself to keep check on myself..
Record my experiences..
Be it happie or not..
But somehow or rather..
As time passes..
I start to read back on my past entries..
I started to think how silly I was AT TT PT OF TIME..
How I managed to convince myself..
How I managed to luff at myself..
How I managed to struggle thru my emotions..
How I managed to compose myself..
How..?
Indeed.. When I start doing that..
I view myself from a different perspective..
Perhaps I have learnt..
As they say..
When you fall down.. You will learn to stand up..
No lessons tt I might have learnt from..
But an experience is what I have gained..
Perhaps even more..
Like a friend..
I gotta set my priorities right..
Sometimes.. I choose to be ignorant..
Not tt I am nonchalant..
Itz bcoz ignorance is bliss..
I have somehow or rather follow in tt path..
Trust..
How do I define tt?
Trust is blindfolding yourself..
If you cant even trust yourself..
How can you trust the person standing right infront of you?
My eyes doesn't tell me the truth..
My heart does..
But when it does.. It hurts..
I choose not to see..
I choose not to feel..
That familiar numbed feeling..
That backview..
As she slowly walk away..
Vividly in my memory..
Standing there.. The wind against my skin..
That cold feeling..
That was when I flipped thru the pages of the love book..
//to be continued..
emotionally charged.-evewbb 11:10 PM
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
[[numbed - 16.02.05]]
我受够了等待你所谓的安排
说的未来到底多久才来
总是要来不及才知道我可爱
我想依赖而你却都不在
应该开心的地带
你给的全是空白
一个人假日发呆
找不到人陪我看海
我在幸福的门外
却一直都进不来
你累积给的伤害
我是真的很难释怀
终于看开爱回不来
而你总是太晚明白
最后才把话说开
哭着求我留下来
终于看开爱回不来
我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开
宁愿没出息求我别离开
你总是要我乖
慢慢计划将来
我的眼泪却一直掉下来
过去怎么交代
你该给的信赖
被你亲手缓缓推入悬崖
从我脸上的苍白
看到记忆慢下来
过去甜蜜在倒带
只是感觉已经不在
而我对你的期待
被你一次次摔坏
已经碎成太多块
要怎么拼凑跟重来
终于看开爱回不来
而你总是太晚明白
最后才把话说开
哭着求我留下来
终于看开爱回不来
我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开
宁愿没出息求我别离开
终于看开爱回不来
而你总是太晚明白
最后才把话说开
哭着求我留下来
终于看开爱回不来
我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开
宁愿没出息求我别离开
emotionally charged.-evewbb 12:13 PM
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
[[memories lost - 15.02.05]]
Time: 1011hrs
Location: Infront of the PC
Mood: Lost.. Kinda upset..
Song playing: Never be replaced - From my blog
I came to realise..
Things are irreplaceable..
Nothing can be replaced..
Not money.. Not friends.. Not love..
Not even my beloved memories..
What I have are etched in my own memory bank..
What I can retrieved.. Will be what I can remember..
I am not reprimanding you..
Apologies for the harsh tone..
Between a memory card and a friend..
I wun lose a friend over a lost memory card..
A life and a memory card - I chose the life..
Moments lost.. What can i do..?
Negative thoughts were what you have
I see you as a friend..
A friend I will be there for..
Forgiveness seeked.. Yes.. Forgiven..
D smile tt I see..
Was tt a frown..?
D laughter tt I hear..
Was tt sniffs on cries?
D tears of joy..
Were they just a disguise?
You can choose to ignore..
But memories will bring you back..
You can choose to walk away..
But you will retrace those steps..
You can choose to bid goodbye..
But you will return once you realised itz a lie..
What lies in a friendship?
A friend who will be there regardless of what happens?
A friend who will stand up for you regardless of right or wrong?
A friend who will see thru tt mask.. tt shadow..
A friend who will not ask any questions..
Coz their ears will be there to listen..
Their shoulders will be there for you to lean on..
Anytime.. Anywhere..
22 car rides - infinite =)
//my dears will definitely agree with me dis time..
emotionally charged.-evewbb 10:05 PM
Monday, February 14, 2005
[[valentine - 14.02.05]]
Time: 0200hrs
Location: Infront of the PC
Mood: Nonchalant
Song playing: Jay's 'Jian Dan Ai'
Once again.. Itz valentine's day..
Our nite began at newton circus..
Yup.. Same store as usual..
Afterwhich we drove down to east coast park..
Finally.. Met up with PL and Winnie and their frens..
As usual.. Winnie upgraded her mp to n6670..
MP fanatic..
Seeing how she loving she and pl were..
It just makes me wonder..
'forever' running in my mind..
I saw sylvester..
He smokes.. eWwww..
Hmm..
There might be times I dun understand myself..
My frens come into the picture..
Pulled me back from slipping deep into slumberland..
For they know.. If i never wake up.. I never will..
No matter how much assurance I gave..
Sometimes.. My frens beg to differ things tt think..
But.. Many a times..
One will rather choose to follow their hearts and ignore the brain..
Not that we are dumb..
Itz just tt emotions are stronger..
The love is from the heart..
The hurt is from the heart..
Moments cherished..
Memories kept..
I really do cherish my frens..
I hope you guys know it too.. =)
emotionally charged.-evewbb 1:48 AM
Sunday, February 13, 2005
[[reunion/departure - 13.02.05]]
Hmm.. Had no choice..
Took mc for the day..
Went down to my beloved cat's hse..
Yup.. Had steamboat lunch..
Compliments by cat and family..
Joined by my other darlings.. Jo, Lene, Eve & Nikki..
Hmm.. Yes.. Nikki.. I have not seen her for around 2 mths..
We updated nikki on all of our lives..
Indeed.. Alot of changed..
Each person with her own set of problems..
After steamboat.. Was cleaning up session..
After tt it was R&R..
And PICTIONARY..
Cat paired with Nikki..
Lene paired with Eve..
Jo paired with myself..
It was hilarious..
Trying to figure out what our partners had drawn..
Yah.. Jo and I lacked chemistry.. Ahaha..
But we got volcano right!! -lolx-
Okie.. It was rear mirror and garage..
Not antenna and car room.. -gRinz-
Nonetheless.. At 1700hrs.. We had to leave for the airport..
Nikki sent us to expo in her van.. =)
Airport has changed so much..
It has been such a long while since I went back..
We were there to send Ivan off..
He's back to Aust for his studies..
Cant await for him to be back..
I haven had my last dance!! -lolx-
Well.. till then..
emotionally charged.-evewbb 11:26 PM
[[tcc - 12.02.05]]
Hmm.. Met up with Jo, Eve and Cat at soup spoon..
The server looks familiar..
Her smile.. Her side view.. Her charisma..
She reminds me of someone..
xxx
After soup spoon..
We decided to catch a movie..
We walked all the way from raffles city to marina square..
BUT!! who knows.. No nice movies..
The next best alternative was tcc @ boat quay..
Yup.. We went there once again..
We chilled and chatted from 2200hrs till closing time..
It was really relaxing..
Stumbled upon a mp3 in Eve's phone..
It was titled 'knife'..
Brings back memories..
Nothing is replaceable..
A heart tt was broken..
Is just like a glass which was broken into a million pieces..
Even if you can put back the pieces..
The imperfect scar remains..
Yes.. I was deeply wounded..
Now.. Nothing matters.. Not anymore..
Before we left.. Each of us penned down our thts on d coaster..
Ode to friendship!
'Graduation' cant be our friendship song..
Well.. 2 votes in favor of 'That's what friends are for"..
What do you think..?
emotionally charged.-evewbb 11:42 AM
Friday, February 11, 2005
[[reflections - 11.02.05]]
Hmm.. Some feelings..
Thou not original..
Happiness is the best revenge!
Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met.
The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before.
Don't ever give up if you still want to try, don't ever wipe your tears if you still want to cry.
Don't ever settle for an answer if you still want to know.
Don't ever say you don't love him if you can't let him go.
You hurt me more than I deserve, how can you be so cruel?
I love you more than you deserve, why am I such a fool?
emotionally charged.-evewbb 4:34 PM
Monday, February 07, 2005
[[i miss u.. - 06.02.05]]
Back once again..
In the long forgotten world..
In the world of forgotten tears..
I have a dream..
A dream with you.. that won't come true..
Should i forget you
Even with all my strength..
Itz so hard to forget u..
I'm still waiting..
All the memories tt I had..
Lost..
I'm alone..
I'm nt lonely..
Though u are nt by my side..
I can feel u..
Every breath I take..
Is filled with memories of u..
You still wun accept me..
If you really love me..
Dun run away..
Even if u go far away..
You will still be in my heart..
The whole world knows..
How very much I love u..
Why are u the only one..
who cant hear me..
Briefly u came..
knocking at my heart..
I just cant throw it all away..
i miss u so much..
A life without you is so sad..
I cant breathe.. With the pain..
emotionally charged.-evewbb 6:27 PM
Sunday, February 06, 2005
[[chijmes n cocco latte - 05.02.05]]
Hmm.. Itz eve-line's bdae supposedly..
Was supposed to resv a table @gyu kaku..
But itz fully booked..
Nevertheless, we still met at chijmes..
Took a cab down.. Yes! I was late..
And the cab driver was a lady..
Hmm.. We chatted and she was quite envious of 2 things..
The fact tt i still have close frens fm my poly yrs..
and tt we have jobs now..
Oh well.. My poly frens till now are the craziest frens I ever had..
I do appreciate their existence.. =)
Okie.. Back to Chijmes..
We decided to dine at bobby rubinos..
The ambience was great..
And the waiter was cute!!
At the end of the dinner..
We got the waiter to pose a pic with eve-line..
Ultimate sabo.. Lolx..
Well.. All in the name of FUN!!
We walked to Raffles City to wait for mi-mi-san..
Being such a long long long while since we last saw him..
Afterwhich we proceeded to New Asia Bar..
Mi-mi-san kenna chked ID..
No choice.. We cant leave him alone..
So 2nd alternative.. Off to cocco latte..
There was this bash - butterflies gg on..
So.. we had to wait till ard 2330hrs b4 everything ended..
It was pretty crowded..
And I saw eileen at cocco latte..
Ok.. last time I saw her.. She was at zouk..
Haha.. okie.. Ttz pretty amazing..
She lost my number again..
Well.. for the umpteen time.. Gonna kill her.. ;p
Joel joined us pretty late.. Guess he must have felt tt he was cheated..
in coming down.. lolx.. =)
Well.. Close to 0100hrs.. Ivan came with a bdae cake.. So sweet..!!
We managed to squeeze into the dancefloor 2 times..
And finally.. we decided to leave..
Lights off!! =)
emotionally charged.-evewbb 1:01 PM
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
[[some thts.. - 02.02.05]]
Hmm.. Was browsing thru others' profiles and stumbled upon this..
"It is no accident that you are reading this.
I am making black marks on white paper.
These marks are my thoughts,
and although I do not know who you are reading this now,
in some way the lines of our lives here intersected..
For the length of these few sentences,
we meet here.
It is no accident that you are reading this.
This moment has been waiting for you;
I have been waiting for you.
Remember me."
-Duane Michals
Somehow or rather..
Have u ever wondered tt the frens tt you know..
Were the ones tt u walked past on the streets in the past?
In some part of each other's life, there is an intersection..
Individuals entered into each others life,
and leaving footprints behind..
Many times.. We failed to cherish..
But now.. I treasure each and every single of my fren..
Each day.. New challenges..
New expectations..
New experiences..
But definitely we will still be frens for each new day to come..
the past is already the past..
the present is what we have..
the future is what we hold on for..
//for good times.. for bad times.. i will be by your side.. forever more.. ttz what frens are for..
emotionally charged.-evewbb 11:56 PM
