one & only OT

[[12 Apr 2008]]

2008-05-02T15:40:00.002+08:00

i shall blog no more..
since the day i asked..
"whats trust..?"

看着你无暇的表情

我猜不透真实你的心

我一直冷静

却还是走不出这秘密

好孤寂

我开始失去了勇气

而你却好像在游戏

我假装清醒看清你的心

终于我选择了离去

你像个孩子一样的被我看穿

在你面前我试着隐瞒

所有过去全都变成伤害

我像个傻子一样的被你出卖

一字一句都要我承担

到了最后我选择分开

[[an annual affair - 01.03.08]]

2008-03-08T01:03:00.000+08:00

an annual affair..
as u might have guessed..
a fully sponsored trip to hk + expenses all paid..
-luffs-

anyway, we decided to give the summer sale a miss as we head for the end winter, spring season..
the weather was cooling, no bits of perspiration this time round..

the fact that there are only 2 of us on this trip makes things alot easier..
- OTOT (own time own target)!!

Day 1
anyway, first day was spent meeting up with nikki&co..
however, i managed to at least eat the 'smelly toufu'..
i managed to go back to the stall that was introduced by xtine's aunt a few years back..

tried to search for some gay clubs in LKF..
but apparently, to no avail..
- works bar - however it was quite creepy as we couldnt find entrance into the club..
- club 97 - only gay nites on friday..
- we couldnt locate community and most importantly propaganda..
it was good walking for about an hour - but we still didn't manage to find the club..

Day 2
Like Singapore, Sunday is family day for everyone as you will notice queues at the more famous restaurants during breakfast/lunch/dinner..
- had some horrible porridge for breakfast..
- but at least, we managed to eat some all time favourites like braised pigeon and some special sauce octopus..
- it was a shopping day for us.. and our buys were mainly on this day..
~ 1 bag each from bauhaus (total - est hkd 2900)
~ 1 rayban sunglasses each (total - est hkd 1700)

Day 3
it was off for sight-seeing..
this was by request of ms ho..
so off to Lantau Island we go.. for the cable car ride and big buddha..
lunch was at po lin monastry
dinner was steamboat at tst Yau Guek Hei

Day 4
as we only have up to 4pm to shop around b4 the transport picks us up..
we checked out at 9am plus..
went to have breakfast and head off to wong tai sin..
- kwun tong for some egg tarts..
- tst for foot/shoulder and neck massage (hkd 700)

(will upload pictures soon enuff..)

[[Confirmation - 01.12.07]]

2007-12-03T12:10:00.000+08:00

YEAH!! I got my confirmation on 01/12..
I’m liking my job more and more..

After receiving the confirmation today,
My boss sent another email which wrote:

Wow, no running away now.

Mark

**And I was telling my colleague I could perhaps walk away.. -luffs-

[[24 November - 24.11.07]]

2007-11-24T23:24:00.000+08:00

A date which holds much memories..
Now and still going on..

[[Recap - 23.11.07]]

2007-11-24T11:43:00.000+08:00

November Recap up to 23 November 2007
Quite disappointed that Jay’s Concert 2008 on the 19th January 2008 has been sold out.
I was anticipating that there will be another add-on show.

Finally, on the day the 18th January 2008’s tixs were released, sistic website went down..
My colleague, Summer and myself rushed down to sistic counter @ wisma to purchase the tixs..
The $198 tixs were sold out, so we settled for $168 tixs..

~~~

After the workshop on 7th November, our boss presented us with a bouquet of flowers each to show his appreciation..
J.Ho got upset after waiting for me for 2 hours – and blew $800 on 4 sets of lingerie..
Dinner was with Shion and Xtine ~ bitching about those marriage stuff!!
Congrats Xtine!!

01/10 (Children’s Day)
New member on board – My new manager Germaine finally came onboard..
Finally, the full team!!

03/09
Help finally arrived, in the form of Lynn & Summer, my new manager and executive respectively..
Finally some manpower to share the workload!! =)

06/08
Work during the transition period from August to September was terrible.
I had to work late everyday as 3/6 of my colleagues has left for greener pastures..
All the projects piling up..
Deadlines to meet..
But at least my boss is appreciative of my work and effort!! =)

02/8
We went to the Wong Tai Sin temple to pay our respects on the last day of our holiday.
Afterwhich, was followed by more shopping near our hotel.

I finally managed to get some t-shirts that I liked and J.Ho suggested some foot therapy..
We went to this very nicely renovated massage centre to have some foot and shoulder massage..

Most impressive?? I would say it’s the toilet..!! the toilet bowl plate is covered with a layer of plastic which can be changed by putting your hand near the sensor..
Talk about hygiene.. this is the best “outside toilet” that I have seen!

My last buy of the day before heading back to hotel for meetup with my sis&co..
A pair of le coq sportif shoes =)

Total damage: SIN $5.5k (inclusive of airtix and hotel stay)

01/8
After all the tourist attractions, J.Ho and myself decided that we should just go shopping and relax..
We actually went in search for the Adidas and Nike warehouse outlet in Kwun Tong,
And managed to check out a nice shopping mall – and boy, it was so crowded bcoz of some HK stars like Joey Yung..

J.Ho shopped around and managed to grab a few pieces of clothes from izzue.com
Afterwhich, we made our way to Adidas and Nike warehouse where we bought some stuff..

J.Ho fell in love with the egg tarts that were freshly baked and regretted not buying more
-luffs-

Evening time was spent around Mong Kok while we check for NDSL deals and my poloraid camera.
I managed to buy a new poloraid at about SIN $170.

Anyway we went to causeway bay to look at some stuff and blew some SIN $600 on some wallet, sandals and wristlets

Dinner was at this posh eatery at Lam Kwai Fong where we blew $250 for 4 pax..
After dinner, we took a cab back to somewhere near our hotel for some late night shopping.

31/7
J.Ho wanted to visit the Ocean Pack but I wanted to visit the Disneyland.
So conclusion – Disneyland won!
The train specifically for Disneyland was very comfy and cute.

Not much updates on this as we went through the whole Disneyland and ended up taking only one ride – teacups!
That’s because the queues are horrendous and the crowd is damn cheeeeena..

Yeah practically makes me so upset about the whole Disneyland that I got hit on the head TWICE by an umbrella (held by china women)
The second time pissed me enough to utter a four letter word.. It has got to be the weather..

The only enjoyable moment was when I was looking around for the machine that makes the copper Disney character coins..
I have the whole collection minus 2 (1 from Hollywood hotel and 1 from Disney hotel)

Conclusion: I sweared I smelled bad.. J.Ho says no.. oh wells..
**u can never imagine being soak in perspiration but the glaring sun rays just dry them up in a few moments and the whole process is repeated..**

Dinner was at a famous steamboat restaurant recommended by my relatives..
J.Ho and I managed to grab some “gai dan zai” and of course the famous ice cream from the ice cream van after dinner!!

30/7
This year, as our finances are better managed, J.Ho sponsored me to a Hong Kong trip with all expenses paid.
-Luffs-
I still remembered that she gave me a $25 voucher from sembawang music store for my 21st birthday.
-she’s so gonna get pissed at me for bringing that up-

Anyway, this time, we had planned the itinerary ourselves.

We took the 6.40am flight from SIN to HK (UA flight)
Yeah, and I had a pleasant surprise at the airport while I was in sleeping mode..
Nikki showed up unexpectedly with a birthday cake in tow!
Yeah, that’s the ultimate surprise of the day which jolted me from my sleepy mode..
Thanks Nikki!

On arrival, we waited for the bus which seems to take ages – and J.Ho fell asleep during the journey..
After settling down in the hotel room, we decided to re-plan our itinerary.

We decided to head to the Peak for a visit and dinner will be joined by my sis&co.
Anyway, the weather was a major turn-off..
We were soaked in perspiration the moment we stepped out of our hotel
For the known fact that HK doesn’t have a lot of trees around add to the temperatures..
However, J.Ho and myself were quite pleased with our map-reading and directions.

Madam Tussads was an eye-opener; we took photos with Jay Chou, Twins, Beckham and Andy Lau (the more famous ones)

Conclusion: The Peak during Summer..? No way again!!

[[so random - 10.07.07]]

2007-07-10T09:20:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder..
Distance = misses..
Or
Distance = misunderstandings..

Ever since nette embarked on her job 1 year back.
Quarrels have been frequent..

Did she raised her expectations?
Or
Did I stopped progressing..

Sometimes, I just feel,
Does earning big bucks give you the right to point an accusing finger at someone?
Does earning big bucks give you the right to shout at someone?
Does earning big bucks give you the right to lash out at someone in public?
Does earning big bucks give you the right to think that you are ALWAYS RIGHT?

Yeah..
So no matter how many apologies..
I just find them so 'scripted'..

I guessed, sometimes apologies is not everything..
If you remember who you are 5 years back,
You will not recognise the you now..
Character of a person shouldn’t change for the worst..
Talk about character building..

I give you face..
Talk about giving mine?

Just a so random thought..

[[happy 7fRenZ day - 07.07.07]]

2007-07-07T11:32:00.000+08:00

07.07.07 - Live Earth Day..
Its also 7fRenZ, 7th year since poly days..
We arranged to meet up,
But cancelled it due to some unforeseen circumstances..

I guessed,
This entry will be based on my 7 friends once again..

Cat aka 'meow'
I guessed all of us have not seen her for around a year..
During poly days, she is one of the very hyper, active and smiley girl around..
I still remembered that she was always there..
During my most upset moments, she was the one who accompanied me to club.. =)

Eveline aka 'printer, e-fu'
The one who will always accompany a couple out?
Always try her best to turn up for each and every gathering..
The only IT lady in our group..
During poly days, she is "HL's best friend"..
And she is also my project mate for most projects..
And I still remembered that we had a slight quarrel which came out of nowhere..

Joanne aka 'youjin, jo, the procrastinator'
The one who changed her perspective..
The very bubbly jo has mellowed down..
But still very obliging towards friends..
During poly days, I still remembered her being the first person who introduced herself..
"Hi, Im Joanne"

Nikki aka 'ms clumsy'
The one who is always very busy with her work..
During poly days, she is so infamous for dropping her muji metal stationery case..
And the fact that she did not bring her textbook for openbook test - yet she passed..
And the first time I saw her,
My 'gay-dar' detected that she's not straight..

Willyn aka 'lene, michelle-saram'
The secondary schoolmate who ended up in the same poly class as me..
During poly days, she is being remembered as the one which has lots of suitors..
From outside / inside class..
And she's also the 'treasurer'.. - no1 fails to pay up..
She is quite a pro in PR..
Look at her portfolio and you will know..

Hui Hui aka 'the imaginary friend'
Conocated by dunno who..
Hui Hui left for Australia with Ivan - Cat's friend and we have not heard from her since..

Happy 7 friends day..
Hope we stay the same 7 years down the road.. =)

[[one & only love - 03.06.07]]

2007-06-03T16:57:00.000+08:00

the craze now seems to be cupcakes..
suddenly, just like the bubble tea,
many people are operating cupcake business from home..

during our 730 days (approximately 2 yrs anniversary),
i ordered one box of cupcakes from carnivalandco..
i guessed nette love the surprise.. =)

some cupcakes websites which i will recommend..

cupcake momma
carnival and co
room for dessert

[[impromptu meetup - 02.06.07]]

2007-06-03T16:55:00.000+08:00

met up with jo and eve for dinner yest..
nic arrived shortly after..
den shopping time for jo and eve..
and we head over to nydc for nics dinner..
and at the same time catch up with nikki and wQ..

its like we have been poly mates/friends since 2000..
yeah.. finally the piggy year where most of us..
are sort of settled down either in relationships/career..
yeah.. we are ageing.. =(

digressing..
im utterly broke..
awaiting my pay and vb..
and i will get my long awaited ndsl..
1 for nette and 1 for myself..
cooking mama..!! here i come..

[[first day at new office - 01.06.07]]

2007-06-03T16:46:00.000+08:00

yeah..
1st june 2007 marks a new beginning..

i have moved on..
out of singtel 1626.. like finally..
to consumer marketing - market research..
at least no more customer service for me for the time being..
and no more shift work - shitty stuff..

im glad tt i have finally settled down on a real job..
at least catching up with friends seems easier..
spending more time with nette also seems much easier.. =)

first day at work seems fine..
but i already have deadlines to meet..
how dreadful..
but everything is a new beginning..

[[730 days and counting.. - 30.05.07]]

2007-05-31T16:31:00.000+08:00

yesterday was our 730 days anniversary..
and it has gotta be a lil special..

we met up at delfi orchard to collect the cupcakes..
my gift for nette..
we went over to zara to get a knitted jacket..
nette's gift for me..

dinner was at ohsumi japanese restaurant..
which speciality was shabu shabu..
we had buffet a - which has unlimited servings of pork belly/shoulder/loin..
and of coz vegetables..

we spent like 3 hours in the restaurant..
before meeting up with nikki and weiqi for ktv session..

pleasant and enjoyable night.. =)

[[phantom of the opera - 13.05.07]]

2007-05-14T22:49:00.000+08:00

first of all..
happy mothers' day!!

celebration was postponed as there were too many significant dates in may to celebrate..
like..
1. sis's bday
2. mothers' day
3. mom+dad's anniversary
4. dad's birthday

anyway,
the day finally arrived..
for phantom of the opera..

overall, i was amazed by the props and costumes..
and i think christine and raoul were very good lookers..
i really love phantom's voice..

if theres another chance,
i hope to watch the musical again in london.. =)
dearie.. did u hear that.. sponsorship to uk pls.. =

anyway..
my sincere apologies to dearie..
for getting upset over a spilled champagne..
and for verbally abusing her..

so,
we have decided,
for each vulgarity spoken,
fine of $10..

yeah.. up till today:
nette: $30
eve: $20

[[i inked my initials.. - 08.05.07]]

2007-05-09T00:08:00.000+08:00

today is the day,
met up with my new hr,
signed the new appointment letter..

finally,
i decided to walk out of my comfort zone..

goodbye to shift work..
goodbye to my customers come 1st of june..
office hours here i come..

hopefully it will be a new beginning..
a new environment,
where everything could be 'refresh' just like a computer.. =)

anticipating my poto this sunday with 7frens..

[[perfect 700 - 30.04.07]]

2007-04-30T15:22:00.000+08:00

happy 700 days!!
which is converted from 1 yr 11months w.e.f 30.05.05.

nette is currently in manchester, uk..

and i have received noticed that i have been selected for the Market Research Executive post 6 hours ago.. =)

will update more details shortly..

[[when ppl have choices = dilemma - 18.04.07]]

2007-04-19T00:00:00.000+08:00

yeah.. as the title suggests..
im in a real dilemma..

first, i applied for internal transfer to another customer service dept - CRC (customer retention)..
today was my interview and it went real well..

secondly, on tuesday (17.04.07),
i received an email from 1 of my HR to asked if im still interested in a position that i applied ages back.. yes!! i applied it back in september or so.. and i went through 2 rounds of interview - first with the manager and subsequently the caucasian director from australia.. - it was not successful coz apparently the then HR personnel told me that they found someone more suitable.. oh well..

-crc customer service officer
OR
-market research executive

i cant make up my mind..
let me tell u the reasons..

first.. being in my own comfort zone - i am quite reluctant to walk out of it and try something new and mudane..
secondly.. i have not worked with market research b4..
so what is expected over there??
i certainly have no idea..
and to think that they are seeking my interest just 6months from my last interview..
does it mean that the successful candidate cannot commit or is the job not suitable for him/her?
what prospects do i have if i take up the job?

if i take up the crc job - its the same job as im working for now..
makes no difference - but i dun need to work shifts anymore..
but dealing with customers..
i thought i had a resolution that i no longer wants to work with customers?
neither the customer service line?

the issues im facing..
paywise - i dun see any huge increment.. even if i get the executive position..
the plus points will be the title that i get..
job scope - from my current understanding - i need to do alot of excel compiling..

in crc - i have colleagues whom im familiar with..
and i know what to expect..
paywise - its basic + cust service allowance + incentive
but bottomline is.. its still a customer service job..

should i choose a title??
or.. should i choose my confort zone?

[[superstar.. superman.. superwoman - 04.02.07]]

2007-02-05T00:33:00.000+08:00

this time, a male won again..
last year was CWL..
this year is CSW..

i was actually rooting for diya..
she is a powerhouse..
and she has maintained and improved all along..

i guess.. xmm nowadays are too rich..
i thought diya did very well..

anyway.. its pre-arranged..
only if they don't have the revival round.. =p

[[610 days and counting - 30.01.07]]

2007-01-30T23:35:00.000+08:00

happy 610 days!!
decided to use this unique way of counting as its more accurate..

anyway, nette and i met up yesterday to celebrate as she will be on flight today..
nette redeemed her credit card points for the movie 'happy birthday',
which was quite a nice theme as nette's birthday was on 24th Jan..
which i had also planned a nice celebration last week..

dinner was at vila'ge,
which we had:
1. grilled sirloin steak (medium rare)
2. sambal stingray with rice
3. fresh oysters
4. mushroom soup
5. vanila + banana crepe

as we still have alot of time to spare, due to my mis-estimation,
we walked around orchard and finally decided to just wait at cine 6th floor..

generally,
'happy birthday' is about a guy (louis koo who loves rene liu and vice versa,
as rene doesnt want to lose louis,
rene proposed to be louis best friend so that she will not lose him..
many years past,
and she still remains his best friend,
seeing him getting attached to other girls etc..
rene also has many suitors,
but she never got attached to any of them..
infact, both of them still have feelings for each other..

one day,
louis brought rene out for a walk,
and they arrived in front of a bridal shop,
which louis asked rene if she will consider taking bridal photos for her wedding..
rene replied something like she will not want to as its very troublesome..
louis then hailed a taxi and left abruptly..

rene did not hear from louis despite attempts to contact him..
so 1 night, after a movie with her best friend,
she received a VM from louis to inform her that he is getting married,
and he doesnt love her (as his wife-to-be is beside him)..

every year, rene will still receive birthday greetings from louis..
till one year, it was late for 42hours..

they have a common best friend (danny) who has a business trip to shanghai,
upon arriving at the airport,
he met someone familiar and discover the truth that louis has passed away 6 months back..

so he together with rene's best friend went to louis' sister place and find out what happened..

louis contacted renal cancer and passed away,
the birthday greetings were all sent by louis's sis to rene as per his instructions..
and louis did not marry anyone..

the truth was not told to rene,
and rene will await for the greetings every year on her birthday..
so therefore, the 'happy birthday' theme..

[[unwine sessions - jan 2007]]

2007-01-30T23:23:00.000+08:00

certainly a backdated post,
went to que pasa on 2 different occasions,
first time was with nette & eveline after dinner at vila'ge..
second time was with wQ, nikki & nette, also after dinner at vila'ge..

sometimes, wine appreciation is about the companions..

[[my loot - 06.01.07]]

2007-01-15T00:16:00.000+08:00

this is a supposedly backdated post,
anyway,
received my a&f loot on 06.01.07 (sat),
ahead of schedule!

it was initially scheduled to be delivered by 12noon 08.01.07,
well, i guess anf and its courier counterpart fedex are so efficient..
and, im definitely a satisfied customer..

all the clothes arrived in very good condition,
my 2 polo tees and nette's jacket and another knit item..
nette spent close to SGD$400 on the purchase plus shipping..

well, its my post xmas present,
and im loving every bit of it.. =)
thanks dearie!

[[anf - 05.01.07]]

2007-01-06T01:21:00.000+08:00

yeah!!
as i eagerly awaits for my parcel to be delivered on monday.
nette has done some online shopping on anf and bought me 2 polo tees..
keke..
and its supposedly my post xmas present!!

im tracking it.. fedex =)

anyway,
sorry that i wasn't sensitive enough..
i forgot tt u can't skip ur meals,
i forgot tt can't eat hard stuff..
i completely forgotten wat you told me conveniently..
and tt made u real upset..
im sorry =

[[lookin' forward to 2007 - 31.12.06]]

2006-12-31T22:55:00.000+08:00

as the year draws to an end.. in about 2 hours 4 mins,
wondering whats the celebration like outside..

no celebrations this year..
will be sleeping thru new year too..
i dread going to work on a PH..
and its been the 2nd PH im going to work, inclusive of xmas..
how unfair.. but thats life..

most importantly,

no more new year resolution for myself.. =

happy 2007 guys.. hope u enjoy..

and may 2007 be a better year for myself!! =)

[[xmas with 7frens & more.. - 23.12.06]]

2006-12-25T00:58:00.000+08:00

the day started early..
woke up at around 0900hrs to do some market-ing for steamboat later in the day..
eve-line was late.. very late indeed..

market-ing was subsequently done by my mom on behalf.. =)
waited till tt eve-line arrived and proceeded to my house to prepare all the ingredients..
failure of the day: we were in need of a sharp knife.. -luffs-

made nikki and co waited for ages while i bathe.. keke..
finally, arrival at nikki's house where everything was taken over by her domestic worker "tsunami" - she is called sufami (to tt extent)..

some slip ups..
-me being the lazy one, decided to take a shortcut in bringing the soup to the steamboat thingy, and resulted in the helpful joanne in overturning the pot of soup.. (sorry babe!! unintentional)
-oh yah, the above resulted in a power trip in nikki's house..
-forgotten to buy hotdogs.. (poor nikki has to drive out to supermarket and get it)
-the spoilt wine-opener (u shld have guessed it..) -luffs-

it was a day when almost all the girls in poly class met up xcept for cat, meilin, tety, (weiwei and yunjiao not inclusive).. it makes me feel as though we are back to poly daze except our thinking now are different, we might arrive at a stage where we know the difference between staying and leaving, be it a relationship or a career advancement.. somehow, i still feel that we are still the same people with additional burdens..

somehow or rather, the world will not be less simple.. complicated? its how one thinks or perceives..

sipping some red wine,
reminicing about the past..
holding on to the present..
plans for future..

broken/unstable relationships, bad/good career choices we have it all,
7frens will still be together..
braving it all.. (i hope..)

and i hope..
2007 xmas will be a better one..
after all, its OUR YEAR!!
oh no.. we are older..
eve-line.. u heard that?? -luffs-

the newly minted picture.. =)

[[xmas with corrinne may - 16.12.06]]

2006-12-17T23:28:00.000+08:00

ever since i was introduced to her music by xtine & bf,
i have never missed any of her concerts till date..

10th Aug 2005
Corrinne May In Concert - Safe in a Crazy World @ Esplanade

12th Feb 2006
Strings & Serenades: Corrinne May in Concert as part of NUS Arts Festival

16th Dec 2006
Christmas with Corrinne May @ Esplanade

before that,
i think i must have been such a shallow individual,
coz it was the first time that i went for a concert @ esplanade..
and it was corrinne may's..

after the encore session,
it just feel like madness to rush out of the concert hall,
to Q up for the post concert - autograph session which corrinne may often obliges..
kudos!!

oh yah.. i got her autograph..
but.. i have not listen to her new songs on the cd yet.. =)

xmas with corrinne?
it was well-spent..

[[watches - 10.12.06]]

2006-12-11T13:33:00.000+08:00

to me, watches are significant items..
therefore, this is my new watch:
"BIAO DA QING YI"
and i didnt forget about yours either..
DT watch by casio for work purposes..

[[d 6th year gift - 24.11.06]]

2006-11-25T00:27:00.000+08:00

2 significant gifts this year..

from me to her
'd one in 15 mcody mp3 player ~ shipped all the way from uk..
'd one out of a millionth time i will Q up early in the mornin to be an early bird to get your phone!

from her to me
my 2 anf polo tees ~ all the way from sfo
and alot more gifts.. keke

pictures should be uploaded soon =)

[[6 years.. - 24.11.06]]

2006-11-25T00:23:00.000+08:00

it would be our 6th anniversary if you had not decide to leave..

ohh well, we are already into our 1 year 5months 24 days and counting..

[[this is it.. - 14.10.06]]

2006-10-14T22:00:00.000+08:00

i can't believe it..
d first time..
d second time..
and d third time..

wtf is hotmail doing?
they have deleted my account..
for the THIRD time..

emails since my babywasabi dayz, ot_22 dayz..
that's it..
i have enuff!! -luffs-

[[i just realised.. - 05.10.06]]

2006-10-05T03:08:00.000+08:00

how long i have not been blogging..
its almost 2 whole mths since i last blogged..

my excuse??
im too lazy.. keke..

well, happie 1 year 4 mths 5 days..
though you are away at south korea (seoul)..
u bet that i miss u just as well..
and u r only coming back nX wed??

hmm..
to compensate??
buy me more anf polo tees from US.. keke..

anyway, i know u wun be lonely..
coz u have the beloved mcody to accompany u..
there shld be enough songs to entertain u while u are bored..
of coz, that's our mth-sary gift..
BUT how come i dun get any??!!

so.. i want my anf polo tee in pink pls??!!
missing u..

[[im now 23!! - 30.07.06]]

2006-07-31T01:02:00.000+08:00

excited NOT!!
well, have joined the ranks of my 7 friends, lest lene

had a different bdae celebration this year,
held in conjunction with our family's bbq session,
i celebrated the day with my family and relatives..

it was indeed a sumptous dinner,
with sri lanka crabs, sambal stingray, sambal sotong, satay, pork ribs, chicken mid joint, otah, prawns, fried bee hoon, curry vegetable, almond longan.. etc

till then..
im now 23+..
arghhh..

[[itz gonna be.. - 29.07.06]]

2006-07-29T15:03:00.000+08:00

my BDAE!!
alright, im not really excited.
when the clock strikes 12 tonite,
im 23 years old.

how looking foward can one be?
now i understand,
nikki, eve-line, cat and jo has been there..
now itz my turn.. -luffs-

looking from a different perspective,
well, im 1 year forward to my 12 years target..
nette knows what im referring to..

i realised, it has been 2 mths since i last blog..
it has been work, work, work and more work for me,
this year, i have set a target,
well, soon to be achieve come september. ~hopefully

well, wish me luck for my birthday tml,
and cya guys,
im having a 1 week leave w.e.f 30.07.06,
any activities? - u got my number!!

[[understandin / backdated entry - 23.05.03]]

2006-05-23T22:57:00.000+08:00

sometimes,
when quarrels arise,
issit you?
or issit just me?

understandin..
i guess we are too impatient,
too short-fused..
jumping to conclusions is major weakness..

complains - even thou im right beside you.
im wrong:
-when im readin the newspaper..
-when im surfin the internet..
-when im sleeping
-when im watchin tele..

basically,
you concluded tt you are being xcluded,
you concluded tt you are being ignored..

you got fed up
you got pissed..
who's right?
who's wrong?
who's to judge?

im tired..
lets just compromise..
let me rest while i can..
thanks =)

[[im lost.. for now - 10.05.06]]

2006-05-10T21:17:00.000+08:00

i wonder,
when one has:
-a few years of working experience,
-a handful of interviews experience,
i think we start to differentiate ourselves fm others,
in such a way,
i start to have higher expectations,
start to set higher targets,
hoping to achieve them,
but i guess..
all came to a naught,
when i was just so unprepared..
and the irony?
i thought i was fully equipped with my work and past interview experiences..
i'll be back..
stronger..

[[im back.. for OT - 09.04.06]]

2006-04-09T17:21:00.000+08:00

surprised?
definitely..!
i've not been doing overtime for the longest time..

i mean if i have a choice..
i will gladly be a potato couch..

ask me abt my short term goals??
i dunno..
ask me abt my long term goals??
thats even worst..
i dunno where my goal in life is now..
i seemed quite lost.. just like eve-line..

when u are all grown up..
and realised that dreams and reality are really different issues..
reality bites!!

dreams
v. dreamed, or dreamt (drmt) dream·ing, dreams
-To have a deep aspiration: dreaming of a world at peace.

reality
n. pl. re·al·i·ties
-The quality or state of being actual or true.
-One, such as a person, an entity, or an event, that is actual: “the weight of history and political realities” (Benno C. Schmidt, Jr.).
-The totality of all things possessing actuality, existence, or essence.
-That which exists objectively and in fact: Your observations do not seem to be about reality.

[[monotonous 2 weeks]]

2006-03-26T20:46:00.000+08:00

pretty amazing,
considering the fact tt i rot myself at home for my RL.

perhaps,
-im getting older..
-im getting lazier..
-im getting homely..

the first time of 3 years tt my RL was spent so ridiculously.
due to the fact tt we are saving up..
therefore, we have decided to forgo alot of luxuries.
overseas holidays are out for this year as jean is in the midst of changing jobs..
while me.. on the midst of looking for another job..
well, i have not quit..
however, it will be soon to be and in a matter of time..

my ideal nX job?
-5 work daes/wk (with sat/sun off)
-10am to 1pm
-2hrs lunch time
-slack.. slack.. and slack..
-no customers to talk to..
-no bosses to report to..
-fun colleagues to gossip with..
-internet to surf and flexi time..
-and of coz!! BONUS of 6mths per year,
-with 2 months leave..

ARGGGHH.. where to get this kind of job?
your guess is as good as mine..
BISH!! in my dreams.. x)

-back to work-
ending in 51mins..

[[... - 06.03.06]]

2006-03-06T14:02:00.000+08:00

after a good 30mins..
i still cant pen down my thoughts..
-luffs-

becoming unusual..?

well.. shall continue again..

heard a korean song..
it started off with..
"treading the same path that we took.."

[[happie new year!! - 31.01.05 - 01.01.06]]

2006-01-02T10:34:00.000+08:00

HAPPIE 2006!!!
time: 1715hrs
location: my room
activity: clearing my room..

small renovation plans..
initially, i wanted only to remove my black shelves,
and replaced with new ones bought from ikea..

BIG renovation plans..
i ended up removing all my shelves - yes..
moving out all my stuff from my room..
repainted my room.. from baby blue to frosty pink..
and putting up new shelves..
and rearrangemt of all my stuff..
cleaning up my room..
changing my bedsheets..
i must say all those above are a major renovation..
i nearly died..
but i have a all-rounder helper - nette..
who helped me with 70% of the major renovation..
and she discovered tt i was weak.. -luffs-

and to say new year resolution?
to clean up my room.. which i did..
and to say new year resolutions will never come true..
haha.. i have proven myself wrong this time..

thanks nette.. u r being appreciated!!

[[last phuture nite of 2005 - 28.12.05]]

2006-01-02T10:24:00.000+08:00

prearranged with 7frens for clubbing nite..
place: zouk's phuture
date: 28.12.05
time: 2230hrs

reached around 1130hrs and saw a queue snaking to the carpark..
nearly gave up..
cat / eve / jo has already arrived & clubbin away..
nette and i waited in queue and met lene along the way..

it was 0000hrs when we managed to enter..
had some fast baileys + vodka..
squeezed past numerous clubbers b4 seeing cat / eve..
with a bunch of unknowns..

within 5 mins,
we were out of the club..
and ttz way before 0030hrs..
coz eve was drunk.. and puking..

met some interesting ppl along the way while waiting for eve to be sober..
finally left at 0130hrs..

[[merry xmas - 24.12.05 ~ 25.12.05]]

2005-12-26T08:23:00.000+08:00

work ended at 2200hrs,
met nette at the coffeeshop near my home..
had sliced fish bee hoon and 'har cheong gai' for dinner..
ordered salad yutiao for take away for later event..

took a cab down to jo's place..
reached there at 1100hrs..
jo was nt home yet..
eve was on the way,
cat and lene will be late..
nette and i sat at the bench below jo's house and waited..
finally, eve arrived at 1130hrs..
when we reached jo's house,
her mum had already prepared a wide range of food,
which we did nt managed to finish..

i guessed everyone was tired out by earlier events..
nette fell aslp soon after..
we were having our own time of 'zhi lian-ness'..
by the time the final member cat arrived, it was closed to 0100hrs..

gift xchange time!!
eve got jo's gift..
cat got ot's gift..
jo got nette's gift..
eve got cat's gift..
lene got eve's gift..
nette got lene's gift..

as everyone agreed,
d older we got,
the clubbing desire becomes lesser..
instead of the prev time,
2003 - MS - Obar
2004 - some of them went to a bar..
2005 - jo's house - chilling session..

at 1 point of time,
jo was uploading the pictures,
when everyone dozed off..
however, was awoken by jo's msn alert..
sending the uploaded pics over..

when it was closed to 5plus,
everyone was closed to dozing off..
nette was preparing to get to work..
which was finally cancelled by request of me..
haha..
and to prevent futher disputes fm her mom -
we left at 0630hrs for our own individual homes..

nX meetup..
last mambo nite @ zouk..
but phuture is where we will be headin for.. =)

[[plagiarism - 19.12.05]]

2005-12-20T03:26:00.000+08:00

plagiarism -
1: a piece of writing that has been copied from someone else and is presented as being your own work
2: the act of plagiarizing; taking someone's words or ideas as if they were your own

okie, i was accused of being a COPYCAT by TCG,
coz my blog was similar to her's in some ways,
i tht my layout was better -gRinZ-
haha.. just kiddin',

[[new phones - 17.12.05 / 19.12.05]]

2005-12-20T03:16:00.000+08:00

after much delibration,
with regards to the price / features / support,
we decided to just get an old model which is having a promo - mit-m900..

upon reading up the forums for 2 weeks,
i finally decided whats best and within our budgets..

i went down to teleshop @ nac on 17.12.05,
and purchased the handset based on u/g on my current sms line..
ohh, anyway teleshop is a new retail store opened by singtel recently..
ohh, and i was served by a bubbly retail assistance - wei en..
and did i mention tt they have a very sophisicated looking retail manager?

hmm.. i went down today - 19.12.05,
and sign up for a new line to get the same phone too for nette..
yesh!! and i sae the retail manager again..
she just looks like an artiste from hk,

haha.. anyway, i thnk nette shld be happie with the phone,
finally mp3 supported!!

//i shall look thru the manuals 2nite..

[[meetup session - 16.12.05 / 17.12.05]]

2005-12-20T02:46:00.000+08:00

finally managed to meetup with the caas colleagues, xcept for steve - who is still based in china.
it has been close to 3 years since i know them during my internship days..
never will i xpect them to be close friends of mine now..
esp sherry and steve..

nevertheless, alex and myself were the ones who initiated the meetup.
due to clashes in schedules,
we were left with lunch apppointment where all will be at the airport.

everyone was in this joyous mood,
while dining at crystal jade @ airport t2
everyone turned excited upon tking the first poloraid pic..
soon, it was one after another. -will post the pics up soon enough-

before lunch ended,
alex was proposing another meetup the nX day for ktv session,
soon, he managed to persuade almost everyone..

xxx

the ktv / dinner session

like finally,
i was punctual,
everyone was late.. how nice..

jessie arrived early, but went shopping..
alex was a few mins late,
derrick was late for close to 1.5 hrs,
while sherry, the one who wanted to have the ktv, was late for 2hrs,
and cynthia sis did not managed to turn up..

it was fun and enjoyable,
with all the jokes fm derrick with his fake horrendous singing,
and sherry with her different jolin's dance movements..

after ktv, we moved on to asian noodle @ citylink mall for dinner,
it was porkchop la mian for myself,
it was an enjoyable meal,
however the guys were dozing off,
when we were excitedly making plans to go overseas to HK next august..

till then..
nX meetup is when steve returns..

[[finally - 12.12.05]]

2005-12-12T03:03:00.000+08:00

she's back.
saw her on msn..
msged her and asked if she is still in overseas..
her reply was tt she's already back in singapore..
and she will be leaving only after cny next year..
-silent-

i realised how long it took me..
to overcome the barrier..
to get over her.. - which sometimes if i wonder if i really do..

SHE, was constantly on my mind,
many years even when we broke up..

perhaps it was un unanswered doubt tt i had..
i never managed to ask..
she will never reply anyway..
for a few years..
she disappeared..
till i found her somewhere..
this year, we started to msg via msn..

till date.. i still hope tt we are still friends.. =)

[[once in a year - 05.12.05]]

2005-12-12T02:54:00.000+08:00

Itz been awhile.
Not since I last blog..
Not since I last log in..
Itz been when im trying to schedule my time.
To meetup with close friends.
Just met up with TCG on Monday evening..
The after-thoughts of meeting up with a friend.
Indeed,
It has been almost 1 year since we met..
There was this awkward distance when she hopped into my car..
Subsequently, I guessed each of us were at our own usual selves.

I noticed..
Not as tempermental..
Not as demanding..
Not as unreasonable..
Not as emotional..
N i guessed she grew up..
As we went on our own journey..
I shld say..
No one has the rights no more..

Well, it was a good evening to chill out..
and well-spent with a friend..
Time for more meetup sessions with my 7friends soon..

[[oh manz.. - 02.12.05]]

2005-12-02T22:54:00.000+08:00

just realised that i have not been loggin in to my emails, blogs, fridae acct, friendster acct..
haha.. and there i have - retribution..
my hotmail account ot_22@hotmail.com was suspended by MSN.. - who else?
coz.. i have not logged in for the past 30 days..
y do they have this kind of rules in place??
worst part.. my impt mails are gone..
how impt..?? i shall not say..
however.. they do acc me for most of my poly years..
y cant all the accounts be integrated into one?
-siGh-
whats past.. is past..
i just hate this manz..

[[bkk - 15.11.05 to 20.11.05]]

2005-12-02T22:47:00.000+08:00

some late updates..
went for a thailand trip for 5 days 4 nites,
and i was sick over there..
and i came back sick..
it was misleading..
y did so many ppl tell me the things are cheap..
what are the things tt are cheap?
i still cant figure it out..
needless to say..
i have bought the more expensive stuff..
by shoppin in the malls..
i missed out on the chatuchat market coz its nt weekend..
oh wells..
tt smell still gives me the naseaous feelin..
just to think of it..
probably my last time there..
eeeWWW..

[[f.r.i.e.nd.s - 23.10.05]]

2005-10-24T00:53:00.000+08:00

i wonder how an individual survives without friends..
wun he/she be lonely,
maybe suffer fm depression?
imagine,
no friends to talk to..
no friends to bitch with..
no friends to go shoppin with..
no friends to listen to you..
no friends to lend you their shoulders..
no friends to wake u up..
ARE WE TOO DEPENDENT on my friends?

IMHO, i guessed not.
today,
i have this urge to blog, after a long absence.
i was thinkin, ppl do change when time passes.

-kindergarden years..- JLN KAYU PAP
however i only remembered 2 of my friends,
who later went on to the same primary school as me.
-primary sch years- ROSYTH SCHOOL
i can remember some of my schoolmates from each level and class.
i have one classmate, who was nearly in the same class as myself up to p6.
and we were allocated to the same secondary school,
however she transferred school.
-secondary sch years - XINMIN SECONDARY SCHOOL
the most memorable class will be sec 3 to sec 4,
coz my classmates were almost the same.
and we had group clusters as well.
i remembered,
i had 10 members in my group.
-tertiery years- TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC
it was the best education years tt i had,
in my 3 years there,
i met the greatest friends,
friends who were so immuned to each other.
we were in the same class fm year1 to final yr.
i can still remember my project groups.
fm yr1 to final yr,
the ONLY persons in my project grp that has not changed were:
HL and Eve-line.

when i think back,
i m really grately for all the people that i have met in my 22 years on earth,
people who managed to motivate me in one way or another.
HL - although she is a very strict leader, no doubt.
i guessed if not for her,
i would have jolly well retained in my poly years.
and my 7friends,
if not for them,
i guessed,
life will not be as interestin!!
i m grateful, i m thankful,
each and everyone that i met is a wonderful experience on my life journey.
thank u.
//a friend indeed is a friend in need

[[im back - 15.10.05]]

2005-10-16T00:36:00.000+08:00

itz been awhile, i guessed.
from my last entry dated 13 Aug 2005.
been bZ with work, life and such,
and my neopets. -luffs-

w.e.f 15.08.05, i changed grp, yet again,
in my 2 years in the company.
to date, i have been handling variety of blackberry, MI issues.
im NUMBED!

sometimes, u cant really xpect alot in life,
coz the unxpected happens - almost frequently.
there might be rare occasions of miracles,
how rare is that.

recently celebrated nikki's 23rd bdae with 7frenZ.
lene was absent coz of work.
itz been awhile tt we have met up.
and it kinda frightens us to know that we are aging,
no longer the poly students we once used to be.
the ongoing projects, the frequent movie, makan, shopping sessions.
treasure my every moment,
for seconds slips away.
the same time tml, who remembers what happens today.
however, my pay is out.
and im gonna declare broke once again. -luffs-
finance management. where are u?
-//first entry in 3 mths.

[[safe in a crazy world - 10.08.05]]

2005-08-13T19:42:00.000+08:00

finally,
my anticipation is over.
i finally get to see her live in concert.

i remembered the first time i heard of her,
it was in nic's (xtine's bf) car.
till then,
i never knew such a person existed.
touched by her sincerity,
moved by her songs.

she held a concert at esplanade concert hall on 10.08.05.
indeed,
a lady with so much passion in her performance.
songs she sang,
songs she wrote,
all part of her life.
not ficticious.
no, she did not try to convince.
infact, she won us over,
with her sincerity.
she's just her - corrinne may.

[[the birthday song - 30.07.05]]

2005-08-13T19:35:00.000+08:00

seems amazing,
how long that i have not been blogging.
indeed,
when one turns wiser (older),
words seemed a little hard to comprehend,
same for feelings.

this year marks my 22 yrs of history on earth.
indeed.
i have the same group of friends around me.
my poly friends - d 7 friends alliance.
my singtel colleagues - the FamousFive
my other one.

i sometimes wonder,
how much does one know me?
how much do i know myself?
-luffs-
i just want to be in my simple world.
Thanks to my 7 frens alliance for being there.
Thanks. I really do.

[[sometimes - 22.07.05]]

2005-07-22T15:30:00.000+08:00

sometimes, i wonder..
if certain decisions tt i made on my part is correct..
sometimes, i heard them say..
"move on.. and never look back"
i dunno if at times i m lying to myself..
i dunno if at times i m lying to everyone ard me..
sometimes,
indeed itz sometimes..

its like a seedling,
planted but it never gets to grow..
sometimes,
i wonder if i was for real..
if my feelings were real..
if u were real..
if ur feelings were real..
everyone tt u had been with..
u wanted to spend ur lifetime with them..
u had planned ur future with them..
sometimes,
i wondered..
how many lifetimes and futures do u hold?
perhaps u love each deeply..
promises i never wanted to make..
for i know i will break them 1 day..
just like u did..

was it a wise choice tt we r back together once more?
or was it by sheer coincident tt we started talking..
and decided to continue a journey tt we left 3 yrs back..
for this..
for that..
i have no answer..
i will find u someday..
//trust-?? whats tt..

[[i love HK - 04.07.05 - 07.06.05]]

2005-07-09T14:20:00.000+08:00

IM BACK!!
went on a holiday to HK with nette plus some others.
overall, the trip was still ok.
here is only a brief description of my buys!
-1 pair of torn & tattered jeans
-2 berms
-1 pair of camper shoes crossover with agnes b
-1 pair of le coq sportif shoes
-few pieces of clothings
-2 pairs of earrings
-5 pairs of socks
-1 adidas cap
till then,
wait till nette update her bloggie first..
haahaa..

[[first of july.. - 01.07.05]]

2005-07-02T01:15:00.000+08:00

the first day of the month.
marks a new beginning.
lately i am accused of the following crimes:
-not replying to sms-es (fm my 7 frens)
-not joinin my 7 frens for gatherings
-not updating my blog
-not picking up phone calls
amongst other things..
plantiff: 7 frens
defendent: myself
witness: nette

ever since i got 2gether with nette..
well,
to clarify..
i have a few reasons/xplanations..
which lists as follows:
-i m really bZ.. with my work at times
-i need some time to catch up with my gf..
-i m real tired fm work..
-and lastly, most imptly, im broke..

my witness shall be nette..
we have been spending so much..
on her.. i guess..
basically.. to put it in her way..
everytime we meet up..
itz either her top or bottom tt has to go..
i mean..
we will get a new top/bottom for her..
as and when i find mis-matched coming up..
to date..
we have spent alot..
and i do mean alot..
we are trying to save..
and itz basically not working..
coz both of us ultimately will end up spendin..
we are trying to curb..
do pardon us..
we cut down on cab rides..
bus rides on our list..
i thnk nX will be walkin..
haha. u bet!
im declared broke.
this coming week,
we are headin to HK..
ttz where ALL FUN begins..
till then,
i shall update..
//loveya! =)

[[happie 1st mth - 30.06.05]]

2005-07-02T01:07:00.000+08:00

recently, we have been meetin up so much,
being apart seems to be torturous..
we have made a pact,
we should save not spend..
seems like we got it all in the wrong direction..
but i tht of a perfect xcuse for tt spendin..
we need a duffer bag each to go HK..
a passport holder for each..
and toiletries bag.. ALL FREE
with a min purchase of $150.
and we spent $309.. on perfume..!
oh wells,
happy 1st mth..

if we din part 3.5 yrs back,
we wld have been 2gether for 5yrs plus?
but perhaps..
perhaps.. perhaps.. perhaps..
//haha.hehe.-gRinz-

[[d tree - 08.06.05]]

2005-06-08T22:30:00.000+08:00

i have been reminded.
itz a long time since i blog.
to think i was d one who said,
i can blog abt everything.
yeah right!

eve-line said something to d xtent..
i will only blog when i m out of love.
so here i am.
gonna prove her wrong. HEE!

the past 2 days,
i have been at nette's hse.
first time i went to her housie,
her doggie was quite nice to me.
her cat..? hmm.. i still prefer doggie..
i bought her dinner/supper on mon (06.06.05)
i fell aslp while she was on d line.
subsequently,
i really fell aslp!
i only managed to go home at 0400hrs.

nette took leave fm work on 07.06.05 - wat a nice date.
i met her bishan j8,
we had lunchie at DIN TAI FUNG.
and we bought 2 identical tees,
to which the salesgirl said tt we cld wear as couple clothes - i totally ignore the comment and made the pymt!
we went to get some coloured pens/black paper/notebook.
i went to developed some photos for my grp.
subsequently, it was back to nette's place.
spent some time playing crossword puzzle - our used-to-be fav past-time
we spent sometime creatin our own 'miracle' book,
detailin entries of time we spent together and places we went to.
sadly, nette lost her first movie tix - infection.
oh wells,
d creation took us close to 1hr.

we met cat & willyn at chomp chomp for dinner.
as usual,
i had a bout of diarrhoea,
went twice to the washroom,
b4 dinner and after dinner,
how nice!
went back to nette's place again!
was irritated by a surveyor,
pounced on the stomach by nette's doggie,
how nice to treat a person havin a bad diarrhoea.

time to fill in the first entry of our lil book of 'miracle'
took us ages b4 we completed the first entry,
mind u!
anyway,
something disastrous happened.
i was so freaked out - i still am.
//i remembered the seedling tt i grow.. itz growin.. =)

[[manifique - 06.05.05]]

2005-05-07T02:16:00.000+08:00

Each word, each phrase, each sentence,
sounds so familiar,
it seems like a walk back memory lane.
But, everytime i tried to reflect,
my mind turns up blank images.
It was as thou it had happened, or had it not.
worst part, i cant rem the date still.
here i m sitting down, cracking my brains.
i only remembered dinner @newton circus,
d conversation @east coast.
memory lapse, i really think i have stm.

she mentioned tt it was unfair tt i did nt know what happened den.
as-a-matter-of-fact, i really din noe.
but now, whats the point of knowing?
i mean,
a person i loved then,
a friend now,
d truth tt mattered so much to me b4,
d truth tt i had no wish to pursue further.
somehow,
she did mentioned tt i neglected her for almost 1 whole mth?
how i had no time to talk to her?
how i never bothered to contact her?
she claims tt i will always claimed to be bZ.
to which, i think hard - i really did.
no memories.
i tried again.
to which, i was thinkin to myself,
was this part for real?
i really tht she got the part wrong.
coz i dun rem anything - really.
it became scary.
to an extent, she cld rememver vividly at least certain things of the past,
which to me, seems vague.

in this world,
there are too many IFs.
as in,
IF that did not happened,
what might have happened?
IF everything was reversed,
what could hold for us?
But, IFs never really happens.
IF you already know,
I had known.

Sometimes,
things do end on a happier note,
so many things u will discover.
certain things frm ur past.
my past, which i tried to bury,
after 2002..
i realised.
that day,
i left my set of prints in the sand,
it got washed away by the waves,
since then,
it washed away part of my memory.
//cut.period

[[scary ME - 05.05.05]]

2005-05-06T02:09:00.000+08:00

i watched 'infection' with jeannette on 010505,
tt was supposed to be a horror movie.
okie, i got scared.
my definition of being scared?
if u were sitting anywhere behind me,
or beside me,
you will realised tt half of the time,
my jacket was used to cover my eyes. -lolx-
i watched 'house of wax' on 050505..
and the above procedures were repeated. -lolx-
okie.. i enjoy the process of being scared.
BUT..
only applies to movies.
NOT in real lives..
THANK YOU!

[[one year - 28.04.05]]

2005-04-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

it has been one year since i conv to a perm.
i have got my flexible benefits last july.
i have got my year-end bonus last dec.
i have got my service increment in april 2005.
i anticipate the performance bonus in june,
and my flexible benefits in july once again.

to think,
i joined as a temp on 30.06.03.
its gonna be my 2 yrs anniversary in stm soon.
tt is a temp plus a perm.

dajiejie just infm me,
tt she was asked to conv to perm today too.
she is given an option of 2 depts.
as a matter of fact,
i infm of the benefits tt she will be gettin.
infact, she will be gettin a $420 flexible benefits in july.
as may well she conv nw,
till she finds a better job after july,
she can req to resign,
just 1 week notice will do.

one word of caution though..
dajiejie, u must curb ur lateness.
lolx.
yeah, just being punctual on mon alone wun be enuff.
all the best!! =)
//u owe me one lot of favours!!

[[tech II - 27.04.05 to 29.04.05]]

2005-04-28T23:46:00.000+08:00

mobile internet!
mobilephones, smartphones, pdas!
operating systems, software applications - SOFTWARE
memory cards, ntwk cards, peripherals - HARDWARE
.jpg, .gif, .jpeg, .doc, .txt, .ppt - FILE .EXT
i am goin gaga over the technical terms.

after d first day of trainin,
i learnt alot on operating systems and software on computers.
i went home, and d/l anti-spyware,
did a thorough scan of my computer,
to my astonishment,
i had 27 spyware infected,
even after removing it,
i scanned another time,
this time it was 13.
well, at least NOW,
my OS seems abit stable now,
its faster now.
i am so proud of myself!! =)
1 more day of tech II trainin.
its gonna be trouble-shootin and hands-on.
till then..

[[d scene - 26.04.05]]

2005-04-27T23:30:00.000+08:00

finally!!
i had my hair cut,
by reknowned stylist, micheal ng (loreal artistic ambassdor).
sherry walked past me @citylink mall,
claiming she cld nt recognise my ugly hair,
she claims tt it looks like some m'*** construction worker.
okie.. all my frens said tt. =(
can u imagine my disappointment?
lolx.

n to think tt dajiejie offered to cut my hair for me.
for $10, which of coz i politely declined.
she claims to cut hair for her baby bros.
and i was like.. ??!!??
(the abv was meant to be a joke!) -lolx-

yeah!
so finally i had my haircut.
so ugly hairstyle no more!!

[[butterfly - 23.04.05]]

2005-04-25T23:31:00.000+08:00

arranged with nikki and gang for a movie.
it was for 18th Singapore Intl Arts Festival.
the title was 'butterfly'

===
Flavia is a thirty-year old teacher, married with a son who suddenly confronts her past desires and history when she falls in love with a woman she casually meets at a supermarket. Instead of restraining herself, Flavia surrenders to this unanticipated connection and in it, finds a release for her sexual identity. It also allows her to recollect her days as a student in the 1980s, a period of tense political riots, when she experienced her first such encounter. Yan Yan Mak’s (Brother, SIFF 2002) Butterfly is also a tale about another love relationship between two women in contemporary Hong Kong who struggle against social prejudice to come out and embrace their identities in public space. Starring Josie Ho and Isabel Chan.
===

when i arrived at the cinema @ shaw hse.
i was nearly freaked out.
it was like a les gathering.
lolx.
as it was actually a les show,
most of the community came to support d show.
the first time tt singapore allows such shows.
by chance, we bumped into jeannette,
who coincidentally was watchin this movie too, alone.
well, les world is small, i must admit.
the movie portrays d emotional turmoils,
and searchin for true self.
well, we went to C.A.N cafe after d movie for a chill out session.
afterwhich, nikki sent me hm to drive my car.
we went to elias mall for dinner,
winnie and peiling joined us shortly after.
after tt, we proceeded to fisherman v for another chill out session.
jaq and liping joined us shortly too.
a walk ard the beach brgs back fond memories.
so many things we reflected.
we realised tt in a les life,
all we are looking for is a life partner,
one whom u can spend the rest of ur life with.
but to find someone,
how difficult or eZ can tt be?
i seeked no answer.
we left for changi v.
to visit some 'bapoks'
and had some prata - which suxs.
finally, we left @ 0400hrs.
got hm @0500hrs.
//tryin to be as discreet as possible.. lolx

[[jumbo - 22.04.05]]

2005-04-23T23:25:00.000+08:00

went for dinner with my colleagues.
mission: chilli crab
we took a cab dwn and got caught in a massive jam - $16
we ate at jumbo @ east coast.
but i thnk the food there suxs -$91
after tt, we tried to train cat for her SS competition.
and again,
i was being convinced to walk fm PIT 48 to PIT 30.
it was a long long long distance.
shortly, cheryl's bf gave us a lift.
wanted to play pool,
bt no tables available.
off to the ktv pub nX door.
the waitress there are so pretty!
we had 1 round of vodka ribena and screwdriver.
some weird games initiated by cat.
left at ard 12plus after cat finished 1 of her songs - $75
//a tired day.. zzZ

[[new new - 21.04.05]]

2005-04-22T23:12:00.000+08:00

Met up with Nikki and gang @club 95.
A nice chill-out place.
Met a few new frens.
On d list were:
winnie & peiling - couple
jaq & liping - couple
jo & weiling - couple
nikki, weiqi, eugenia, yinghui, jeannette and OT (ME!!) - ALL singles
had some lychee martini.
left for supper ard 12plus @ lau pa sat.
there were 2 'merlions' tt day.
well..
i love to chill out this way..
//chill..

[[7 frens alliance - 16.04.05]]

2005-04-19T00:39:00.000+08:00

Arranged to meetup,
initially with jeannette to pass her back her book,
plus cat and nikki.
And to think tt all along,
I tht i was holdin on to 'memoirs of a geisha',
till jeannette pointed out tt it was 'fallen leaves'.
Kinda shocked.
Does it meant tt i was nt observant of the things ard me?
All along i tht..
And assume..

What a pleasant surprise when I reached there.
Sat on the wooden bench were 3 of the 7 frens.
Cat, Jo and Willyn were there too.
Nikki had nt reached, but Eve-Line was on d way too.
Finally, the 7 frens alliance.
I find it amazin tt more than often,
if we arranged in advance,
there will be alot of ppl who cant mk it.

Willyn suggested gg to sentosa.
Off we went.
We went to siloso beach,
and chatted at a chill out zone.
Indeed, as tired as everyone can be.
The spirit was uplifting.
Updates was on the list.
There were some past being brought to the future.

I realised.
When one grows up,
there are things tt we cant avoid.
The feelins become complicated.
Not as simple as we know.
The truth still hurts.
No matter when it is told.
Even when a r/s has passed on.
The worst feelins come fm being the last to know,
yet u are the main character in d r/s.

We left ard 1plus and head for coffee club @orchard.
We had some drinks and lite bites.
And left ard 3plus.

I felt apprehensive.
I feel happy at the same time.
I always believe in my 7 frens alliance.
They will always be there,
no matter what.
Thou times, I may be insistent in things i do,
they never left me there.

If u happen to walk behind us,
do note tt there will always be 7 sets of footprints.
We never really left each other.
Really.

[s.u.p.e.r.s.t.a.r - 09.04.05]]

2005-04-10T17:40:00.000+08:00

Woke up late.
And was nearly late for work.
DaJieJie was nearly late too.
Oh wells. As usual ;]
The seasonal tummyaches are coming back.
tummy attacks more than twice a day.
DaJieJie's advice: do situps.
And I was like.. R u sure?
DaJieJie claims able to improve stamina,
n strengthen muscles.
Orh. Might try.

Afterwork, rushed to suntec with my fren.
Coz she wanted to join the SUPERSTAR org by channel u.
At the reg, they said they needed 2 photos.
So off to purchase clothes and tk photo.
In d end, they say if no photos also can.
We were sooo crazy..!
After tt, it was dinner at Marche.
And homesweethome.
And i m missin her already.
//hw do i tk the nX step.?

[[l.o.v.e equation - 06.04.05]]

2005-04-07T00:21:00.000+08:00

"love is nt seen by the eyes.
itz felt thru the heart."

tryin to figure out.
what are u thinkin.
what do u need.
how can i cross tt bridge?
till then.
i am still figurin out.
//missu

[[back! to work - 05.04.05]]

2005-04-05T23:01:00.000+08:00

Yest was bad.
Returned to work after a week of rostered leave.
The imbecile custs keep calling in.
One after the other.
Dispute cases.
'Power of Attorney'
A legal document to authorise someone to perform transactions on ur behalf.
Well, I learnt something new.
And 'tan chi gui' did nt turn up for work.
Yet again!

[[blast from the p.a.s.t - 02.04.05]]

2005-04-03T00:38:00.000+08:00

trust (noun):
One in which confidence is placed.

out of boredom,
i reflected on my past r/s.
i retraced memory lane.
images flashed.
words spoken.
1 common word.
TRUST
obviously trust was the missin factor in all my failed r/s.
i dunch understand.
was insecurity a factor on my part?
i broke off with my first gf.
reason: i din trust her.
my 2nd gf broke off with me.
reason: coz i din trust her.
i broke off with my 3rd gf.
reason: coz i dun have trust in us.
my 4th gf broke off with me.
reason: there is no trust btw us.
i broke off with my 5th gf.
reason: trust was insufficient.

we were quite happy back then.
even thou,
small quarrels we had.
lil time we had for each other.
the past entries were sweet memories.
when everythin ended.
it was abrupt.
she was outta my life.
all sms deleted.
her number i deleted.
thou i still remember the 8 digits i dialled frequently.
i never tht tt any actions were a mistake.
i always believe.
people u meet in different stages of our lives,
make us grow up.

till i learn to trust.
i guess..
she will never know.
tt someone loves her fm afar.
//strawberrypocky

[[m.i.s.s.i.o.n - 30.03.05]]

2005-03-31T01:08:00.000+08:00

Finally, managed to accomplished something today.
During my rostered leave.
I went cycling.
I covered Pit 1 to Pit 80 at ECP and back.
So how many 'KM' was tt?
I nearly died!
a sense of satisfaction!

Went to fetch Da Jie Jie fm work.
Was a lil late.
And she walk all the way out to the bus stop.
Eww..!
So impatient! -lolx-
But managed to fetch her to mrt station coz i was rushin for time.

Met up with steve.
He's finally back fm china.
But he's leaving on 06April05.
Went to soup restaurant and had dinner - steve's treat again!
Proceeded to tcc @ boat quay for some chat session.
Head home @ ard 2330hrs.
Such a fully packed day.

Have 4 free admission tickets for zoo..
Any takers?
'tan chi gui'.. betta take hor..
//ttconversation..

[[lingerin smell - 27.03.05]]

2005-03-28T02:00:00.000+08:00

ok! i m officially on rostered leave!
and i have nt planned to do anythin.
i can only think of cyclin.. cyclin.. and cyclin..
pathetic? thnk so too.

recently, there was a fascination with rotiboi with a few of the colleagues.
brings back fond memories indeed.
the first time i heard of rotiboi.
the first time i bought rotiboi.
the 2nd time i went back to buy rotiboi.
oh wells.

to think i m open to my frens as to my sexual inclination.
yet at the same tym,
i feel uncomfortable with ppl of the same kind.
why is this so..?
i cldnt xplain.
unless other party is a femme tt is.
m i still closeted?
i dun think so.
for my frens do know.
how out are u?
*to some people*
hmm.. so i m not *to all but family*
so what does tt represent?
m i havin an identity crisis?
couldnt be!
i went thru my memory bank once again.
retraced those steps.
i found.
i m low profile.
ttz d only reason tt i have.
till then.
//midaoZ?

[[room-mates - 22.03.05]]

2005-03-23T15:48:00.000+08:00

the 7 friends organisation decide to meet up once again.
paragon - bakerzinn tt is.
with cat, eve-line and jo.
as usual we had some pastry cakes and pasta.
the service was wonderful.
i m gonna write a compliment letter soon.
mean lene is still stuck in her office.
overworked! underpaid!
AS USUAL for ALL OF US!!
we decided to fetch her and spend some quality time together.
we waited and waited for more than 30mins.
finally her meeting ended and we went to ECP.
we went to drive-thru mac and ordered some food b4 headin to ECP.

some plans were underway.
we decided to move into a condo.
YES! the 6 of us.
and try living together for 1 month.
we still cldnt figure out who will be bunking with who.
till then..
//inaworldofourown..

[[love @ first sight? - 20.03.05]]

2005-03-20T22:34:00.000+08:00

frankly, it wasnt so.
she reminds me of someone.
my sip jiejie - cynthia.
they seem to have this charisma.
i cant describe.
they make heads turn.
d air of confidence,
d act of independence.

i pondered.
i still cant figure out.
search mode on.
what can i do ne?
please kindly advise!
//dilemma

[[fairytales - 20.03.05]]

2005-03-20T22:08:00.000+08:00

i m willing to be tt angel you love
in the fairytale
spread my arms
just like wings to protect you
please believe in me
please believe we will be like the fairytale
blissful and happiness will be the ending
an ending we will write - together
//itzREAL

[[a step - 19.03.05]]

2005-03-20T00:09:00.000+08:00

I took a step forward.
I finally took the initiative.
And I finally mustered up my courage.
To give her a box of strawberry pocky.
To converse with her.
Last but not least.
I offered to fetch her to her destination.
And found out tt ALL of us are road idiots.
//helloANGEL!

[[light up - 17.03.05]]

2005-03-19T00:16:00.000+08:00

Time: 0017hrs
Location: infront of my PC
Mood: doz-ing off..

17.03.05
Went out with my team-mates.
To dine @ pizzahut and sing @ kbox.
YES!
Now I believe they stepped on the pizza dough.
All thanks..!
I have banned pizzahut!
ktv @ kbox was hilarious.
We changed fm rm71 to rm18 coz there was no ventilation.
And YES!
There was something pretty interesting gg in the opp rm.
We were more engrossed in watching them than singing..
Realli!
3am - last song!

18.03.05
Went back to office even thou itz my off.
Had to settle and close a case.
Finally settled!
Nearly got a complaint coz of tt..
Stayed fm 1150hrs to 1330hrs.
Went off to meet nikki for lunch.
All we went on a car tour coz she is meetin her clients.
I went to sheng shiong @ woodlands..
YES!
I bought 10 strawberry pocky and sweets,
blah blah blah..
total: $35
Went to a thai-temple and pray.
Hope my wishes come true!

xxx

Went down to heeren with shion.
To collect my engraved zippo lighter.
I AM SMOKING?!?!?
Of course not.
I just had a sudden facination with lighters.
All coz of her.
Guess wat was engraved?
-gRinz-
We went to dine @ baker's inn.
Had a fulling dinner which came up to abt $52.
OKAY!
I am kinda broke now.
I will be banning myself fm gg out.
//lockMEup!!

[[tired - 14.03.05]]

2005-03-15T01:06:00.000+08:00

Time: 0107hrs
Location: infront of my PC
Mood: dozing off

Spent 3hrs infront of the comp..
Trying to locate the pictures for my blog..
And of coz 'tan chi gui's' blog..
I even put myself as 'be right back' on msn..
Yeah rite.. BE RITE BACK..
I didnt went back..
She wasnt technically online..
So I just concentrate on my blogs..
Okie.. There was some probs..
Shld be server probs with blogskins.com and blogger.com
Only by 0100hrs that i managed to complete everything..
Hopefully 'tan chi gui' dun complain too much..
I tried my best..
Till then..
//imissher

[[refresh F5 - 13.03.05]]

2005-03-13T22:15:00.000+08:00

Time: 1018hrs
Location: infront of my PC
Mood: elated

Was supposed to meet lene @ 0800hrs..
Hmm.. my phone died on me..
And I had to tk a cab down to tk my dad's car..
Finally.. We met up @ 1000hrs..
As usual..
Pasir Ris was the place..
I cycled while lene blade..
We covered from one end of Pasir Ris till the other end..
Mission accomplished: around 4.5km.. (ttz wat lene claimed)

xxx

Went home and washed up..
Shortly after I drove to the office..
Was supposed to complete 'tan chi gui's' timesheet..
But..
Due to some constraints..
I decided against gg back to office..
But decided to lunch with my stm colleagues..
I have a new found fren..!!
My strawberry pocky!!
//likefinally..

[[all in a day - 09.03.05]]

2005-03-10T17:53:00.000+08:00

Hmm..
Kids will always be kids.. -gRinZ-
Went to tcc @ boatquay with 'tan chi gui'
First time tt we managed to sat down and talk..
Okie.. Basically.. We were gossiping.. =x
I like the feeling tt she is one of d special frens..
One whom I can converse with..
Okie.. 'tan chi gui'.. i still want my soup restaurant!!

xxx

Hmm.. Went home and watched A.Idols..
Waited for the car..
Loaded my bicycle onto the car..
Finally.. A long awaited nite..
2nd time tt i am cycling..
to think tt i bought this bike for $700..
It became an accessory to my balcony..
Exercise genes is working..
Went down to fetch lene and get her blades..
Pasir ris park is the place..
I cycled while lene blade..
For around 1 hour..
Till lene fell and hurt herself..
We decided to end the session..
And we went in search of Jo..
Sinful supper we had..
To think tt we were trying to fight off..
"TEMPTATION"
okie.. we lost..
after sending lene home..
jo and i decided to talk..
at some eerie.. ponggol beach
we chatted and left at ard 1 plus..
Yeah..
and i had to unload my bicycle home.. =(
//i love the nite scenery.. peace..

[[rush.. - 06.03.05]]

2005-03-06T16:59:00.000+08:00

I don't need to love again
I won't sigh and mope again
I don't need to love again
I just don't think it's worth it
I don't really love her
I don't think I want her
Ain't gonna take to love again
It's the way your love hurts
It's the way your mad again
I don't think I'll love again
I won't ever promise her
I don't think I want her
This time no one else
I don't bear to follow you
I don't ever promise you
Sometimes I don't love you
Think I'm tired of loving her
I don't really want love
Hey, hey, hey, hey
You know you're right
You told me to follow him
Teach him that I loved him
I won't ever promise you
I won't even bother to
You gave me my first kiss
I don't think I want it now
I don't ever want again
It's all that I had to have
It's all that I wanted
It's all that I had to
I don't think I'll miss her
I don't think I want her

[[fate vs destiny - 24.02.05]]

2005-02-24T17:34:00.000+08:00

Fate: (noun)
The supposed force, principle or power that predetermines events.
The inevitable events predestined by this force.
A final result or consequence; an outcome.
Unfavourable destiny; doom

Destiny: (noun/plural)
The inevitable or necessary fate to which a particular person or thing is destined; one's lot.
A predetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control.
The power or agency thought to predetermine events.

I once read.
In love, its fate that brings u together.
Perhaps destiny which brings u apart.
It wrote.
In love, there isn't a right or a wrong.
Its just that some people met at the wrong time.
With fate. U met.
With destiny. U part.

I was once told.
I believe in fate.
Therefore fate decide my destiny.
I once said.
Fate lies in your own hands.
Let not fate decide your life.
Lets change destiny.

For now.
Fate? Does it exist?
Destiny? What do you think?
A commonly heard.
If we are meant to be.
We will be together in the end.
Where is the end?
One might question.
The other..?
The answer is just obvious.
There was never an end to begin with.
When you mean 'THE END'.
Perhaps that's the finale.
No more sequels.
That I hope.

I realised.
Hope brings hurt.
Hurt brings anguish.
Full of lies and deceit.
Who I chose to believe.
What I chose to believe.
Who I chose to lead me.
Was that you in my dream?
Did I wake up?
Have I woke up?
I do question.
But I realised.
I have no answer.

They said.
Ignorance is bliss.
Knowing too much.
1 word: HURT.
I replied.
Rather than living in delusion.
I seeked a world of my own.
I chose to take a stab.
Right in my heart.
That is when it all ended.
That is when i called u a friend.
//thts of a being.

[[separate lives - 21.02.05]]

2005-02-21T23:29:00.000+08:00

Time: 2333hrs
Location: infront of my pc
Mood: casual
Song playing: the below song.. dunno title..

Hmm.. I finally found..
I always feel so emotional charged..
Whenever this song plays..
But I never got to know who was the singer..
And the title of the song..?
I dun even know..
Well.. Its something I like..
Something which at certain point so much depicts my feelins..
No one can understand..
Not even myself..
Questions I cant even answer myself..
Was tt to show tt i m in doubt?
Perhaps not..
Just tt I have learnt..
There isnt an answer..
To every question..
Just like..
There isnt a lock..
To every key..
There isnt a you..
To every me..

You called me from the room in your hotel
All full of romance for someone that you'd met
And telling me how sorry you were
Leaving so soon
And that you'll miss me sometimes
When you're alone
Do I feel lonely too?
You have no right to ask me how I feel
You have no right to speak to me so kind
We can't go on, holding on to time
Now we're living separate lives
Well I have learned to let you go
And if you lost your love for me
You never let it show
There was no way to compromise
So now we're living
Now we're living separate lives
Ooh, it's so difficult
Love leads to isolation
So you build that wall
You build that wall
Yes you build that wall
Oh yes, you build that wall
And you make it stronger
You have no right to ask me how I feel
You have no right to speak to me so kind
Some day I might
I just might find myself looking in your eyes
But for now,We'll go on living separate lives
Yes for now,We'll go on living separate lives
Separate lives...
Separate lives...

[[love book - 19.01.05]]

2005-02-19T23:10:00.000+08:00

Time: 2311hrs
Location: infront of my PC
Mood: blank
Song playing: love book

Eternity: Time without beginning or end; infinite time
Forever: For everlasting time; eternally
Is there really eternity.. really forever?
I seeked no answer..
Eternity and forever seems like..
Holding on to a handful of sand..
Some might just slip thru the gaps inbtw the fingers..
Eternity and forever is a hope..
Somehow it is a promise..
A promise made.. held on by both..
A candle light up.. a hope given..
Life.. It seems.. like a candle..
At times.. The wind might extinguish the flame..
At times.. Someone might come along and relight the candle..
A candle without flame..
A life without hope?
A promise held by one?

Once spoken.. Once told..
"A blog is for me to vent my frustrations..
Now.. I no longer have anything to write..
Nothing to vent..
I will delete my blog.."

Hmm.. In my own definition..
A blog is for myself to keep check on myself..
Record my experiences..
Be it happie or not..
But somehow or rather..
As time passes..
I start to read back on my past entries..
I started to think how silly I was AT TT PT OF TIME..
How I managed to convince myself..
How I managed to luff at myself..
How I managed to struggle thru my emotions..
How I managed to compose myself..
How..?
Indeed.. When I start doing that..
I view myself from a different perspective..
Perhaps I have learnt..
As they say..
When you fall down.. You will learn to stand up..
No lessons tt I might have learnt from..
But an experience is what I have gained..
Perhaps even more..
Like a friend..
I gotta set my priorities right..
Sometimes.. I choose to be ignorant..
Not tt I am nonchalant..
Itz bcoz ignorance is bliss..
I have somehow or rather follow in tt path..

Trust..
How do I define tt?
Trust is blindfolding yourself..
If you cant even trust yourself..
How can you trust the person standing right infront of you?
My eyes doesn't tell me the truth..
My heart does..
But when it does.. It hurts..
I choose not to see..
I choose not to feel..
That familiar numbed feeling..
That backview..
As she slowly walk away..
Vividly in my memory..
Standing there.. The wind against my skin..
That cold feeling..
That was when I flipped thru the pages of the love book..

//to be continued..

[[numbed - 16.02.05]]

2005-02-16T12:13:00.000+08:00

我受够了等待你所谓的安排
说的未来到底多久才来
总是要来不及才知道我可爱
我想依赖而你却都不在
应该开心的地带
你给的全是空白
一个人假日发呆
找不到人陪我看海
我在幸福的门外
却一直都进不来
你累积给的伤害
我是真的很难释怀
终于看开爱回不来
而你总是太晚明白
最后才把话说开
哭着求我留下来
终于看开爱回不来
我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开
宁愿没出息求我别离开
你总是要我乖
慢慢计划将来
我的眼泪却一直掉下来
过去怎么交代
你该给的信赖
被你亲手缓缓推入悬崖
从我脸上的苍白
看到记忆慢下来
过去甜蜜在倒带
只是感觉已经不在
而我对你的期待
被你一次次摔坏
已经碎成太多块
要怎么拼凑跟重来
终于看开爱回不来
而你总是太晚明白
最后才把话说开
哭着求我留下来
终于看开爱回不来
我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开
宁愿没出息求我别离开
终于看开爱回不来
而你总是太晚明白
最后才把话说开
哭着求我留下来
终于看开爱回不来
我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开
宁愿没出息求我别离开

[[memories lost - 15.02.05]]

2005-02-15T22:05:00.000+08:00

Time: 1011hrs
Location: Infront of the PC
Mood: Lost.. Kinda upset..
Song playing: Never be replaced - From my blog

I came to realise..
Things are irreplaceable..
Nothing can be replaced..
Not money.. Not friends.. Not love..
Not even my beloved memories..
What I have are etched in my own memory bank..
What I can retrieved.. Will be what I can remember..

I am not reprimanding you..
Apologies for the harsh tone..
Between a memory card and a friend..
I wun lose a friend over a lost memory card..
A life and a memory card - I chose the life..
Moments lost.. What can i do..?
Negative thoughts were what you have
I see you as a friend..
A friend I will be there for..
Forgiveness seeked.. Yes.. Forgiven..

D smile tt I see..
Was tt a frown..?
D laughter tt I hear..
Was tt sniffs on cries?
D tears of joy..
Were they just a disguise?
You can choose to ignore..
But memories will bring you back..
You can choose to walk away..
But you will retrace those steps..
You can choose to bid goodbye..
But you will return once you realised itz a lie..

What lies in a friendship?
A friend who will be there regardless of what happens?
A friend who will stand up for you regardless of right or wrong?
A friend who will see thru tt mask.. tt shadow..
A friend who will not ask any questions..
Coz their ears will be there to listen..
Their shoulders will be there for you to lean on..
Anytime.. Anywhere..
22 car rides - infinite =)
//my dears will definitely agree with me dis time..

[[valentine - 14.02.05]]

2005-02-14T01:48:00.000+08:00

Time: 0200hrs
Location: Infront of the PC
Mood: Nonchalant
Song playing: Jay's 'Jian Dan Ai'

Once again.. Itz valentine's day..
Our nite began at newton circus..
Yup.. Same store as usual..
Afterwhich we drove down to east coast park..
Finally.. Met up with PL and Winnie and their frens..
As usual.. Winnie upgraded her mp to n6670..
MP fanatic..
Seeing how she loving she and pl were..
It just makes me wonder..
'forever' running in my mind..
I saw sylvester..
He smokes.. eWwww..
Hmm..
There might be times I dun understand myself..
My frens come into the picture..
Pulled me back from slipping deep into slumberland..
For they know.. If i never wake up.. I never will..
No matter how much assurance I gave..
Sometimes.. My frens beg to differ things tt think..
But.. Many a times..
One will rather choose to follow their hearts and ignore the brain..
Not that we are dumb..
Itz just tt emotions are stronger..

The love is from the heart..

The hurt is from the heart..
Moments cherished..
Memories kept..
I really do cherish my frens..
I hope you guys know it too.. =)

[[reunion/departure - 13.02.05]]

2005-02-13T23:26:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Had no choice..
Took mc for the day..
Went down to my beloved cat's hse..
Yup.. Had steamboat lunch..
Compliments by cat and family..
Joined by my other darlings.. Jo, Lene, Eve & Nikki..
Hmm.. Yes.. Nikki.. I have not seen her for around 2 mths..
We updated nikki on all of our lives..
Indeed.. Alot of changed..
Each person with her own set of problems..
After steamboat.. Was cleaning up session..
After tt it was R&R..
And PICTIONARY..
Cat paired with Nikki..
Lene paired with Eve..
Jo paired with myself..
It was hilarious..
Trying to figure out what our partners had drawn..
Yah.. Jo and I lacked chemistry.. Ahaha..
But we got volcano right!! -lolx-
Okie.. It was rear mirror and garage..
Not antenna and car room.. -gRinz-
Nonetheless.. At 1700hrs.. We had to leave for the airport..
Nikki sent us to expo in her van.. =)
Airport has changed so much..
It has been such a long while since I went back..
We were there to send Ivan off..
He's back to Aust for his studies..
Cant await for him to be back..
I haven had my last dance!! -lolx-
Well.. till then..

[[tcc - 12.02.05]]

2005-02-13T11:42:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Met up with Jo, Eve and Cat at soup spoon..
The server looks familiar..
Her smile.. Her side view.. Her charisma..
She reminds me of someone..

xxx

After soup spoon..
We decided to catch a movie..
We walked all the way from raffles city to marina square..
BUT!! who knows.. No nice movies..
The next best alternative was tcc @ boat quay..
Yup.. We went there once again..
We chilled and chatted from 2200hrs till closing time..
It was really relaxing..
Stumbled upon a mp3 in Eve's phone..
It was titled 'knife'..
Brings back memories..
Nothing is replaceable..
A heart tt was broken..
Is just like a glass which was broken into a million pieces..
Even if you can put back the pieces..
The imperfect scar remains..
Yes.. I was deeply wounded..
Now.. Nothing matters.. Not anymore..
Before we left.. Each of us penned down our thts on d coaster..
Ode to friendship!
'Graduation' cant be our friendship song..
Well.. 2 votes in favor of 'That's what friends are for"..
What do you think..?

[[reflections - 11.02.05]]

2005-02-11T16:34:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Some feelings..
Thou not original..

Happiness is the best revenge!
Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met.
The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before.
Don't ever give up if you still want to try, don't ever wipe your tears if you still want to cry.
Don't ever settle for an answer if you still want to know.
Don't ever say you don't love him if you can't let him go.
You hurt me more than I deserve, how can you be so cruel?
I love you more than you deserve, why am I such a fool?

[[i miss u.. - 06.02.05]]

2005-02-07T18:27:00.000+08:00

Back once again..
In the long forgotten world..
In the world of forgotten tears..
I have a dream..
A dream with you.. that won't come true..
Should i forget you
Even with all my strength..
Itz so hard to forget u..
I'm still waiting..
All the memories tt I had..
Lost..
I'm alone..
I'm nt lonely..
Though u are nt by my side..
I can feel u..
Every breath I take..
Is filled with memories of u..
You still wun accept me..
If you really love me..
Dun run away..
Even if u go far away..
You will still be in my heart..
The whole world knows..
How very much I love u..
Why are u the only one..
who cant hear me..
Briefly u came..
knocking at my heart..
I just cant throw it all away..
i miss u so much..
A life without you is so sad..
I cant breathe.. With the pain..

[[chijmes n cocco latte - 05.02.05]]

2005-02-06T13:01:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Itz eve-line's bdae supposedly..
Was supposed to resv a table @gyu kaku..
But itz fully booked..
Nevertheless, we still met at chijmes..
Took a cab down.. Yes! I was late..
And the cab driver was a lady..
Hmm.. We chatted and she was quite envious of 2 things..
The fact tt i still have close frens fm my poly yrs..
and tt we have jobs now..
Oh well.. My poly frens till now are the craziest frens I ever had..
I do appreciate their existence.. =)
Okie.. Back to Chijmes..
We decided to dine at bobby rubinos..
The ambience was great..
And the waiter was cute!!
At the end of the dinner..
We got the waiter to pose a pic with eve-line..
Ultimate sabo.. Lolx..
Well.. All in the name of FUN!!
We walked to Raffles City to wait for mi-mi-san..
Being such a long long long while since we last saw him..
Afterwhich we proceeded to New Asia Bar..
Mi-mi-san kenna chked ID..
No choice.. We cant leave him alone..
So 2nd alternative.. Off to cocco latte..
There was this bash - butterflies gg on..
So.. we had to wait till ard 2330hrs b4 everything ended..
It was pretty crowded..
And I saw eileen at cocco latte..
Ok.. last time I saw her.. She was at zouk..
Haha.. okie.. Ttz pretty amazing..
She lost my number again..
Well.. for the umpteen time.. Gonna kill her.. ;p
Joel joined us pretty late.. Guess he must have felt tt he was cheated..
in coming down.. lolx.. =)
Well.. Close to 0100hrs.. Ivan came with a bdae cake.. So sweet..!!
We managed to squeeze into the dancefloor 2 times..
And finally.. we decided to leave..
Lights off!! =)

[[some thts.. - 02.02.05]]

2005-02-02T23:56:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Was browsing thru others' profiles and stumbled upon this..

"It is no accident that you are reading this.
I am making black marks on white paper.
These marks are my thoughts,
and although I do not know who you are reading this now,
in some way the lines of our lives here intersected..
For the length of these few sentences,
we meet here.
It is no accident that you are reading this.
This moment has been waiting for you;
I have been waiting for you.
Remember me."
-Duane Michals

Somehow or rather..
Have u ever wondered tt the frens tt you know..
Were the ones tt u walked past on the streets in the past?
In some part of each other's life, there is an intersection..
Individuals entered into each others life,
and leaving footprints behind..
Many times.. We failed to cherish..
But now.. I treasure each and every single of my fren..
Each day.. New challenges..
New expectations..
New experiences..
But definitely we will still be frens for each new day to come..

the past is already the past..
the present is what we have..
the future is what we hold on for..
//for good times.. for bad times.. i will be by your side.. forever more.. ttz what frens are for..

[[monsoon.. - 29.01.05]]

2005-01-30T01:57:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Finally.. New hairstyle..
Went down to bugis to meet sherry..
I was late.. due to massive jam at cte.. =(
Should have just taken a mrt dwn..
Wasted $11 on cab fare.. Damn it..
Went to monsoon..
And the receptionist infm tt it was full house..
And told me tt I had to wait..
Is tt some kind of joke?
I replied tt I had made an appt..
But she still insisted tt it was full house and I had to wait..
So I just left after leaving my contact no..
And the nX thing i did was to complain to "higher authority"..
Within 10mins.. I recved a call from the receptionist..
Asking me to return to the salon..
But it was nt a nice day at the salon..
Coz I was made standing for more than 45mins..
Sherry did her perm..
And finally.. It was my turn..
I dyed my hair deep brown..
Coz.. It finally dawned on me tt blond is diff to maintain..
And I had a wispy haircut.. =)
Oh.. My hairstylist Addy..
He increased his charge to $125/haircut..
Damn it..
I am seeking alternatives..
My total bill came up to $250..
While Sherry's bill came up to $500..
Yup.. Thats the amt we have to fork out..
And we finally took our photocards!!
After a lapse of 1 year.. lolx..
It was dinner at Ajisen..
Movie "Nobody knows" at cine..
Ttz how my whole day ended..
Worst part..
I am gonna get an earful from my mom..
I have not cleaned up my room..
Arghhhhh.. Help!!!!
//i like my hair now.. =)

[[zouk - 28.01.05]]

2005-01-29T13:07:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Was it shopping therapy once again..?
Or was I just so into shopping nowadaes..?
I seek no answer..
Hmm.. Went to town with my sis..
Initially was just to get my boardshorts..
Bt subsequently..
I got a tee and bermudas from dkny which was around $300..
But bcoz of club21 sale, it was reduced to $150.. =)
Afterwhich.. I went to get my nautica boardshorts..
And.. My calvin klein underwear.. lolx..
Hmm.. Seems as though I am so brand conscious nowadays..
But nt as disastrous as my sis..
Who bought a pair of miss sixties jeans for like $300..?
Yeah.. We are both.. Spendthrift..
I've got my sis's bad habit..
Save me.. ;]

xxx

Oh well.. Recved an sms from cat..
"zouk is playing rnb tonite.."
She asked if I was interested..
I declined.. Reason being.. I was broke..
But subsequently.. Em's frens wanted her to go zouk..
Coz it crew's members nite..
So we juz prepared ourselves and went..
The music was great.. The DJ was great..
But it was damn damn packed..
Yup.. But I met alot of people..
-Jane (ex temp from singtel)
-Dawn (our BIT lecture mate)
-Xueling (the cartel girl..)
Hmm.. Oh yah.. And cat saw fiona xie..
And my sis saw diana ser..
I didn't see..!!
We left around 0130hrs..
Simply coz it was too crowded..
And cat had to catch a movie..
//my fav hangout.. =)

[[love is a journey.. - 27.01.05]]

2005-01-27T22:47:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Okie.. I am too free.. I must admit.. to go thru each and every profile and stumbled upon this.. lolx.. Well.. Crappy eve is back!! Watch out!! =)

L O V E is a Journey

A good relationship isn't a game you play or an ego trip you take. It is about love and two people. Loving someone can give us the greatest joy we can ever know and it can hurt more than we can believe too.

When it does not really hurt when that person did something disappointing to you, but really hurts when you see that person in pain and sadness, then you know you truly love that person.

Loving someone means you should be ready to experience heartache and happiness at the same time. That's the reward and that's the risk. Unless we are willing to experience it, we will never really know what it's like to love and be loved.

Sharing love is probably the most valuable and meaningful experience a person can ever have. And there's a difference between being in love with someone and loving someone. It's the difference between a love that's fickle, wild and short-lived and one that's tender and passionate, nurturing and lasts a long time.

The first is easy. The second, the one that really matters to all of us,takes work because it's about keeping a relationship.

Loving someone takes efforts. We have to be able to communicate with each other. Nobody can read anyone else's mind. We always presume that our partner knows what we think and feel. Maybe in time we might be able to predict or sense each other's thoughts but it's never perfect and takes time to develop.

Getting the chance to love and be loved by someone is blessed.

Respect her for who she is, and not what you want her to be.

Everyone is pretty and special in her own special way.

No one is perfect. It is true love which closes the gap of imperfectness to form a smooth surface of acceptance for each other.

True love sees and accepts a person for who he/she is. It is also true love which makes a person change for the better.

The power of true love to a person is undeniable. A relationship needs commitments too. What is love without commitments from each other anyway? It's like principles and values. Everyone has them but they only mean as much as we are willing to stand for them.

The same goes for our commitments to relationships, and the person we love.

When i love someone, i'll let her know.. i never know wat will happen the next min.. learn to build a life together.. learn to love each other.. for who she is.. not wat she is..

xxx

Every day everywhere, people fall in love but just how many of these relationships are self-sacrificing love, and not just relationships which are formed only for the intense feeling of falling in love? I know hundredsof friends who say the magical words "I love you" but more often than not, the truth is just I am IN love with you.

There is a difference between being in love with someone and loving someone.

If a person says he/she is in love with you, he/she means that he/she likes you for who you are now and he/she fell in love with you because of the present you. This kind of love is temporary and lasts only as long as the fairytale lasts. When fairy godmother comes in at midnight to whirl us back to reality, we see the heartache of such a relationship.. where both were only IN love with each other.

But if a person says he/she loves you, he/she means that he/she loves you unconditionally for who you are now, who you were in the past and who you might be in the future. When he/she says he/she loves you and really means it, you have to ask yourself if you love him/her too or if you're in love with the idea of being in love.

It is very hard to see the difference through logical thinking.
Let your heart guide u.

[[kbox - 26.01.05]]

2005-01-27T20:22:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Recved a call from lene..
Mobilization alert!
Location: Hougang Plaza
Time: 2200hrs
Activity: KTV
Yeah!! Our favourite activity is finally BACK!!
After an absence of around few months..
But I did went once with Jo..
So nt really counted..
Made a booking.. Prepared my stuff and took a cab dwn..
Juz in time tt they just reached..
Yeah.. KTV session started..
But the sound system was bad..
BUT..
It did nt dampen our mood..
Clearly.. Everyone was in a jovial mood..
-shrugs-
I didn't quite get it.. Coz i missed out on the earlier part..
By 0230hrs.. We were getting quite lethagic..
So we had a theresa teng marathon..
Each of us had to sing her song..
Sexy Naughty Bitchy by tata young was the last song..
We left at 0300hrs..

xxx

And yah.. I struggled to get to work this morning..
Time: 1400hrs
Action: dozing off at work..
Mood: Sleepy
===
Time: 1500hrs
Finally came my break..
Long awaited.. We are having BIS training.. with Jon..
Ended: 1700hrs
===
Well.. At least.. I did nt need to answer calls for like a whole of 2 hours..
But her prob case.. Itz really problematic..
I tried every solution..
But I have to revert back the case to her..
My sincere apologies..

[[i really dunno.. - 26.01.05]]

2005-01-26T21:42:00.000+08:00

Hmm..
Some things have passed..
Some things have been reflected if needed..
Some things have been said..
Some things have been told..
Words said..
Letters wrote..
Friends we still are..

You claimed tt I had changed..
You claimed tt I am nonchalant..
You claimed tt I am being harsh..
You claimed tt I dun need to say I'm a true friend..
Actions will show..

I replied tt you are thinking too much..
I replied tt you are over reacting..
I replied I am not..
But you refuted the above..

In the office..
You are my colleague cum friend..
Outside the office..
You are still my friend..
These are not assurances..
Do you need assurances..?
I think not..
Offering assistance is the most natural thing to do..
If I could.. I would..

Quoted:
"Please don't judge me by my face..
by my looks..
or the way i behave..
Please take a look a little deeper..
way down deep inside..
And although you may not see it..
i have alot to hide..
Behind my clothes d secrets lie..
behind my smiles i softly cry..
Please look a little deeper..
ans u will see the lonely little girl..
tt lives within me..
If you found her..
you'll realised she is insecure.
That if you just look deep enough..
you'll find the REAL ME.."
===
i always think tt the quote belongs to you..
what lies in tt shadow..
no1 knows..
what lies behind tt mask..
no1 asks..
for itz not an answer they are seeking..
it will be the question they are guessing..
let tt not be an answer..
let tt not be a question..
for what lies in a mystery..
will be interesting..
//eve

[[jap bbq - 25.01.05]]

2005-01-26T19:03:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Finally.. A Japanese restaurant with the right ambience.. The right staff.. The right food.. Lolx.. Hmm.. We went to Gyu-Kaku at Chijmes..

The entrance leading to the restaurant was.. nt very splendid bt it was peaceful..
The moment the sliding was opened.. What awaited was absolutely fabulous..
The ambience inside was.. very cosy..
The servers were very attentive and of coz.. very good-looking..
The food was the best..
I had i. unagi bibimba (eel rice in hot stone bowl..)
-kimuchi
-karubi soup
-shitake mushroom
-asparagus foil grill
-hotate (blackpepper)
-karubi (blackpepper)
-karubi (garlic)
-buta karubi
-sausages
-aburi bacon
Hmm.. Fabulous.. =)
Hmm.. At the end of the dinner..
The waitress presented us with moo-moo hp accessories..
The one tt I have on my z1010 now.. =)
My new once-in-a-blue-moon hangout restaurant.. ;]

[[slack.. - 23.01.05]]

2005-01-24T01:43:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Korean serials soundtracks.. Translated.. Tugged the heartstrings.. But I always believe.. Songs are just songs.. What a day to slack.. ;)

part 1
Once again..
I entered into the world of unforgotten memories..
With unforgotten tears..
I have a blissful dream..
But you are my hindrance..
Should I forget you..?

part 2
i will hold you tight..
i won't let your tears fall..
Why can't you feel my heart..?

[[chill out.. 22.01.05]]

2005-01-24T01:33:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. We have devised a new method to chill out without spending any cash.. Tt is to hang out at each other's place.. No frequent clubbing.. No frequent movies.. Hmm.. Jo was ever so interested to impart her mahjong skills to us.. We went down with the mission of helping her clear her room.. But once we stepped into her room.. I could only stare in disbelief.. Yah.. Still the same old Jo.. The one we helped to clear her room 4 yrs back.. And.. -shakes head-

We sat dwn in the living room to watch ICE-AGE.. Halfway thru.. They started the manicure thingy.. Luckily I was excluded.. ;) Afterwhich.. We were being persuaded to start the mahjong session with her.. Jo wanted to play the whole full round.. We still have 16 rounds to go.. When we decided to end.. It was 4am in the morning.. By the time I reached hm.. It was around 5am.. And I had to pretend tt I was home at around 3am plus..

[[phuture - 19.01.05]]

2005-01-20T01:04:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Finally.. One day when I was so enthu about clubbing..
Got my beloved cat to go with me..
We went down quite early with Cat's colleague, Angie..
Shortly after, Angie's frens Jo and one SIA air stewardess arrived..
We made our way to phuture first to chill out..
We had bailey's on the rocks and vodka ribena..
Midnight madness came on..
Cat and I had e-thirtythree..
Angie's other frens arrived and ordered long island tea..
Everyone got their butts off and started to dance..
Subsequently.. before the midnight madness ended..
We had another round of bailey's on the rocks and corona..
And.. We started to venture to the dancefloor..
I thought I saw my sec sch fren..
She seems to be talking to me..
But I wasnt too sure..
so i just /ignore.. (but I found out ltr.. indeed she was my sec sch fren)
I guess I was intoxicated..
By the tym I finished my corona..
I was signaling to cat tt i needed the washrm..
It was such a funny situation..
As i was feeling very hungry after clearing my stomach..
I went to eat..
And guess wat.. out came everything.. YES.. everything..
But it was a night to remember..
//btw.. have u met a banker before..? ;)

[[frens - 19.01.05]]

2005-01-19T15:14:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Was browsing thru and found this.. quite true to an extend.. I always believe fate lies in ur own hands.. But when circumstances arises.. You leave it to fate.. Contradicting.. but always true..

Have you ever felt like you knew someone a long, long time ago,
Another place, another time, a friendship of the souls?
Two people who share a bond for reasons neither know,
A feeling that they were friends, a long, long time ago?
Did they stumble onto each other by pure circumstance,
Or was it fate and destiny that played a certain hand?
Two souls intertwined, they are worlds apart,
But the soul, it knows no difference, in matters of the heart.
Somehow they are drawn together,
fate has brought them back,
Each living worlds apart, they journey separate paths.
When this life is over, and a new life begins,
Their souls will find each other, two souls that we call friends.